Thursday, March 8, 2012

Numbering My Days

I have a habit of not sleeping at night.  It's something that I've dealt with forever.  And even though at times it's not fun, I can't find it in myself to hate the insomnia that has plagued me for most of my life.
There is beauty in the night.  There is something magical about being awake when the world around me is asleep.  I get the witness the silence of the late hour.  I get to be still and reflect on the day.  I get to look to the stars when I spend my quiet time with God. 
Last night was no different.  Long after everyone went to bed and was fast asleep I found myself awake.  I was up and wandering around my dark house when I popped my head into my boys' bedroom.  To see my sleeping kids, no matter what age they grow up to be, still takes my breath away. 
When did they stop being babies and start being little boys? 
I remember when I was a little girl how my dad would tell me how the days of this life would just melt away before my eyes and how I should always make the most of the time I have because it is fleeting, moving like the wind and taking us all along with it.  I also remember scoffing at him.  It took having children of my own to see just how right he was. 
All this to say, my life is a blur. A blink of the eye. I cannot yearn for yesterday's events more than I can pause to take in today's. Time keeps on ticking no matter how hard I try to convince it to take a break, put up its feet, and just stop for a moment.

Motherhood is teaching me a lot about time. How do I value it? What is really important? How can I savor this every moment? Unless I come to understand life's brevity and properly value the time that I have, I will never have a grasp on the moments that so effortless fly by.

Time is precious. We will only be able to grasp how truly precious it is when we are no longer able to take advantage of it. How blessed are we to have a God who gives us opportunities to learn the value of our time?  I yearn to constantly be made aware of its preciousness.  And I pray for that often.  With those little boy faces changing every single day, I think it's safe to say that I will have ample opportunity to gain a wise heart.

Value today, my friends.  And take the time to thank God for blessing you enough to live it.


Devon said...

Thinking too much about time gives me anxiety! So I just pray that I can enjoy every day and every moment as they come... Every day truly is a blessing! :)

Krysten @ Why Girls Are Weird said...

I get anxiety every now and again and it's mostly because I have so much going on in my head!