Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Where Do I Go From Here?

When I first started this blog, way back when, I had good intentions.  I've always been a memory keeper, be it on the pages on my scrapbooks or written in my journals.  I knew that this platform and I would mesh, and mesh well.  And for a while we did. 

I have loved every single aspect of blogging right from the very start.  At the beginning I'd have my posts planned out days in advance, a small list of things to blog about sitting right next to my computer.  And if you've been visiting here awhile then you already know just how much I love the design aspect of it all to, as this blog has taken many forms over the years: new headers, new columns, new widths, new, well, everything.  Everything things got stale around here, all I had to do was shake them up a little and I would be happy. It worked for me. The design I have right now is probably the one that I've had the longest, though.

For awhile things went great.  I gained followers, who turned into friends.  I had a slew of things to blog about.  And I had the time to devote to it. 

Things are different now.  My boys are getting older and they are doing more things, things that I want to be a part of.  I'm involved in things outside of the home now, like choir and MOPs.  I'm working (more on that one later, since I haven't spilled the beans yet).  And I have a house to maintain, laundry to do, and dinner to cook.  Time is a fickle thing. 

In the past year or so I've gotten very busy, and that's ok.  I'm happy that I'm out there living my life.  Unfortunately something had to give, and it seems to me that that something has been blogging.  A lot of those great friends that I've made are gone now, mostly because I didn't keep up my end of the bargain.  I didn't stay in touch and I didn't visit their blogs everyday to share the love that they graced me with.  And I wish I would fix that, I honestly do.  And those posts that I had lined up and ready to go?  Yeah, now I'm struggling to find something to even write about.  There are things going on in my life that I don't want to share, personal things that I want to keep just for me.  Somewhere along the line my priorities shifted.  And some days, it's sad to say, but my heart's just not in it anymore.

I do love this blog.  It's been my go-to place to release my emotions and to tell my story.  It gave me an outlet to write for me, for my boys, and for my husband.  And even though along the way things have gotten jumbled this is still my space to just be me, with no pretension and no hiding.  If people like what I have to say then they'll keep coming back.  Before I would stress out over gaining popularity and gaining followers, now I write everyday with the mentality of "stick around if you see something you like, if not don't let the proverbial door hit you on the bum on your way out.  But when those I counted as friends started walking away, well that make think twice. 

So where do I go from here?  That's the question isn't it? 

Will I quit blogging?
No.  I love it too much.  But I will probably stick to my less frequent posting schedule.  It works for me. But I will quit stressing over the little things that can so easily bring me down.  As much as I love thing blog, I love the smiles on my boys faces more when I spend time with them instead of sitting in front of this computer.  And that, my friends, is what life is all about.


tessica said...

ahh i got so sad as i read your post, but i will be happy to see each post you do find yourself writing!

AlyGatr said...

So what's this about a job??? I for one, love reading what you have to share, no matter how frequently you do it. I've been learning to let my blog just be what it is and post when I can and be OK with it when I can't. I just can't see myself letting it go completely. Hopefully you hang in there!

Ashley said...

I can't help but feel exactly the same way. My son is growing up so fast, and leaving Virginia behind in three months makes for an interesting household. I'm not sad I don't blog nearly as often..and it's somewhat of a fresh breath of air. We will always enjoy your updates no matter how frequent they are : )

Along My Country Road said...

Amen! I totally agree. I personally do not feel that I am a very good blogger. I login and read them almost everyday, but I am not good at blogging about me. I spend so much time "pondering" on what to write about, or what pics to post, and then the frustration of trying to have it look as good as other blogs...just overwhelms me. I have decided that blogging is personal... if it's everyday, once a month, or just reading...what matters most is finding a happy balance of what works for "you" and taking the time to enjoy!
Hanging in there with you, regardless of how often you blog~
Many Blessings~

beka said...

love the points you made.
comment love can't always be done. :P
i love reading what you write! :)

Nen said...

those of us who come to your blog often will surely check back in from time to time to see what you've posted! i am starting a new job in august (haven't posted about it yet)... but will probably be on the same path as you. watching your kids grow up and not missing those special moments is way more important than the computer! sounds like you've got your priorities straight!! :)

Jen said...

I'm sorry I don't comment much, but I read everything and I love your blog! So I really do hope that you don't stop blogging for a long, long time.

Jen said...
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