Saturday, December 31, 2011

New Beginnings

New Beginnings. That's what I'm going with here. 

I absolutely hate making New Years resolutions.  And to be honest I hate reading about other peoples New Years resolutions.  I don't see why we need to wait for an arbitrary date to change our lives.  What's wrong with today?  What's wrong with right now.  Funny how that works out.  Today happens to be New Years Day.  It's just past midnight.  The babies are snuggled into their beds after staying up late to welcome 2012.  They dropped like flies, no sooner hitting the pillow before they were off to sleep.
I haven't posted here in almost 2 months.  And to be honest I wasn't sure if this blog was something that I'd ever come back to. 

I know that I owe you all an explanation.  And to those of you who have emailed me to see if I was ok, thank you.  I wish I had some big drawn out anwser for you, but the truth is that I just needed a break.  I needed to be present in my kids lives more fully and not from behind a computer screen or a camera lens.  I had lost the joy that journaling brings to me and I just needed to take some time to recoup and gain a fresh perspective. There was just too much negativity in my life and I needed to pick the weeds out so that the flowers had room to grow.

I used to love your blog before you wrote about religion.  Now I can't stand it.
I come here to see your crafts, not get parenting tips.
You post way too many pictures of your kids.
What happened to you?  You turned into a bible thumper. 
I remember back when you used to post every single day. 

Ouch.  I get it, I really do.  I write a blog that not everyone can identify with and I write about things that don't interest everyone.  I do talk about Jesus a lot on here, and I sure do take a bazillion pictures of my kids, because they are as cute as can be.  And I do it all because I can.  Because this is my space where I share my life and the ways in which I have been blessed.

Like a fool though, I let the handful of negative words in the mountain of positive ones direct my path.  And that plain old stinks.   I don't always remember that there are real and true friends on the other side of this blog, people that are entwined into the lives of my family and I and who genuinely care what happen to us and where we go.  I didn't hold myself accountable, and for that I am sorry.

I need to figure out how to make this work for me.  I want this blog to be an honest reflection of how I live my life.  My days are full, as is my heart.  And I need to find a way to protect it.

Above all else, guard your heart,
for everything you do flows from it.
Proverbs 4:23

I'm letting this verse guide the direction I take this blog from now on.  I hope that you'll understand.

I've disabled the comments on my blog for the time being.  I don't know if they'll stay off forever, but I'm easing back into posting.  Right now I want to write for me.  I want this space to serve as a collection of memories that I can share with my friends and family and hopefully someday my children.  I want to purge my hopes and dreams someplace where I can come back to them and see if they came to fruition.  I want to be deliberate in my posts, and that means moderating myself and my blog.

Up on the navigation bar is my contact information.  I do hope you'll email me if you have a comment, question, and just want to say hello.  I love hearing from you all, I truly do.  I just think that it might be best if it's a bit more private in indirect. 

Life is sweet.  This is my way of sharing it.
Welcome 2012

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