Friday, January 14, 2011

Daisies in Her Hair

Yesterday was a long day. It was the kind of day that should come with a do-over, but sadly life doesn't work that way. So I hitched up my skirt and trudged on, because I am a wife and a mom and that's what I do.

Yesterday was day two of Brayden being home thanks to our little town shutting down because of the snow. Normally that wouldn't be so bad, but the little bugger hasn't had a full week of school since before Christmas vacation because of the holidays and Greek Orthodox Christmas last Friday. I love you little boy, but go back to school already! I have things that I need to do. There are rooms to clean, laundry to wash, and dishes to be done. But with two boys who seem to do nothing other than butt heads, this mama is finding her to do list getting longer and longer as my sanity goes further and further away. Add to that another three day weekend (thanks MLK Jr!) and I'm ready to go absolutely insane. It's 5:26am right now ... Brayden had better have school today!

On top of my nerves wearing thin and trudging through a horribly messy house, I've seemed to catch another sinus infection. Let me just say that I am so over sinus infections. I get at least one a month, January proving to be no different. Without fail, though, I always seem to get them right when I need to sing for choir. Oh, and did I mention that I'm starting professional voice lessons on Monday? Yeah..., expensive professional voice lessons with a guy coming all the way in from Pittsburgh. And I'll sound like a frog. Great.

It's days like yesterday where I lose myself. I spent the majority of my time curled up in my living room chair nursing a cup a chai tea and adding to an already large mountain of snotty tissues. I didn't change out of my pajamas until 4:00pm and even then I opted to forgo brushing my hair for a messy ponytail. And the most productive thing I did all day was tell my kids to put their plates in the sink for me, and not to argue while doing it.

Days like that plain old suck. I don't know about you all, but when I get sick I get mopey and whiny. As I sat there in my stinky pj's, all hopped up on Alka Seltzer, all I could think about was, "Is this what I've become?".

But then the night wears on and I start to feel a bit better.
And I get over myself.

Because, bright and early, this morning, around 5am to be exact, as I was in my bedroom rooting through a box of old hair things looking for a headband to push my still dirty, tangled hair out of my face with after a night filled with more nose blowing and headaches than sleep, I came across a gem.

This gem to be exact!

I got my licence when I was 17 years old, about 2 months shy of my 18th birthday. Boy was I upset that I didn't just wait the two stinking months so I didn't have to have that big old ugly Junior Licence sign written there on the left side. Back then I was skinny (so so skinny... *sigh*) and had short cropped hair that was always pushed back with my favorite two blue daisy barrettes. Oh, and even though you can't tell in this totally crappy picture (thanks in part to the enormous amounts of hair gel I used to wear) I was also the girl who dyed the front strips of her hair a different color every month (pretty sure they were turquoise here). Back then I was free.

But then I think about all of the things that the picture doesn't tell, the things that I lived through and that only I know. Back then I didn't have any direction or any sort of morals. I was free, but I was also naive and young and stupid. I was really really stupid.

And on days like yesterday (and probably today too if I'm being honest here) when I'm stuck in a rut, I'll always know that the girl who I used to be is still inside of there somewhere, she's just got her priorities straight now. (Number one being: take a shower and brush your hair!)

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7 comments:

Marisa Hopkins said...

Awww... that license is so young and cute!! Also, random fact - you are 2 inches taller than me. :D

Fallon said...

Fantastic!I love looking at old drivers licenses! I always try to keep mine when I renew, I just say I lost it so they won't bother me.

Faith said...

WOW! I don't think I would ever post my first driver's licence pic. It was awful! I hear you about school closing. I almost felt bad about how happy I was when my kids went back to school - and they only had 2 snow days! But I was going nuts.
Hope you feel better!!

AlyGatr said...

I think I shredded my first license! In Hawaii, part of the "security" of the thing was to run part of the rainbow that is "decor" on the license right through the picture, so it usually made your coloring look all off. All I remember was it was a cruddy pic made worse. Ah, there are so many things I would go back and smack 18 year old me for :) I hope your weekend is better than your week has been. HUGS!!!

Lillian said...

I lost my first driver's license but then back in the olden days dl's were paper so it probably got torn up.

I guess I'm weird, I loved snow days because it meant my kidlet and I could spend time playing and reading. I just let the house work pile up because I knew those days would pass too quickly.

I used to get sinus infections every month too. The doctor never bought into the idea that it might be somehow connected to my "friend" but I am still convinced it was. I don't get them monthly anymore but then I haven't had my "friend" for years because I had an hysterectomy when I was 32. I always tell people to bone up on the vit c and if you can, use a netti pot, they don't stop the infection but they do seem to shorten the duration,

Thanks for stopping by my blog and leaving a comment.

Christopher And Tia said...

Bad days must be contagious.

But I relate so well to your writing.

Also, I totally used to want hair like that. I remember there being a really cute girl that went to my school (you look a lot like her), and she always did her hair like that, and I loved it.

Nen said...

old license pictures are so fun to look at... you are brave for sharing... i don't know if i would share mine! hehe