Thursday, July 29, 2010
So Long Sweet Summer
As I woke up today and groggily made my way into the kitchen for a drink an and my morning dose of pills I caught the calender with out of the corner of my eye. Where did Summer go?
I'm usually an Autumn girl by heart, but now I don't have any of that usual longing for the leaves to change colors, for sweaters to be worn, for that crisp bite in the air. No. Right now Summer is fleeting and I have no idea where it went.
I'm angry with myself for now seeking out a lot of Summers usual treats. No backyard fires, spent roasting marshmallows late into the night. No picnics and days spent swimming at the park, no water balloon fights and late dinners eaten on the back porch.
As we mark off days until school starts on that calender that mocked me so this morning, the pressure on my shoulders mounts. With each degree the thermometer dips, my mood droops a little further, and with each leaf that floats by, my heart sinks just a little further into my stomach. I fear the darkness and the cold that is Pennsylvania in the winter and I’m not entirely sure I can handle another grade school related catastrophe. I just want to hang out with my kids barefoot and bra-less with the grass between my toes all day and just be.
With only a month left of the Summer of 2010 I suppose I'd better get on with it.