A Self Centered Mother

This is me.
And I am a self-centered person.

My boys don't often get what they want and ask for, often because it is not in MY best interests.

And sometimes they are encouraged to things that would make ME happy.

My own mother liked to indulge, or so I thought growing up. It's only now, as an adult with children of my own that I can really see difference and she has taught me well. Because as the saying goes, if Momma ain't happy, then nobody is happy.

My own mother never signed my three brothers and I up for every single extra curricular activity under the sun that we often begged her to do, but rather only the ones we expressed genuine interest in. She didn't have to run all over town carting us too and fro, and we all never had to waste our time with something that we were less than passionate about. Except piano lessons ... I failed miserably at piano lessons. And I certainly am no girl scout, although 15 years ago I was convinced that I was.

My mom encouraged us to volunteer, saying that the experience would not only enrich our lives but also give her a quiet house for a few hours. Every summer for five years I volunteered at a local art center painting faces during their summer festival to raise funds. Not only did I have a blast there but I helped to support a cause that I was and still continue to be passionate about.

Mom always talked me into making handmade invitations for birthday parties and such. They were always so much prettier and the time and effort that was put into each one always reflected love. So now when I think back to her saying I don't think we can afford the fancy ones from the store this time, I see her ulterior motive.

Simple things like that let me see my mother for who she really is. She knew I would hate wasting my time with something stupid like gymnastics when I was younger, and she knew that I would find a home at the art center volunteering, and she also knew that I was a creative child and making those handmade invites was something I would enjoy, yet she never came right out and said those things, because truth be told if she was blunt about it all I would have scoffed and not listened.

So instead my mother put it all on herself, and acted as the self centered one simply so that I might enjoy life and enrich my spirit.

So now for my kids I will do as my mother did for me, feign self centered-ness.

Thank you Mom.

Originally posted at The Mama Dramalogues on 01/03/10