Wednesday, October 21, 2009

The Secrets to a Blissful Marriage

Because marriage is like a garden. You have to tend to it every day lest it become overgrown with weeds.

Think play, not romance.
Forget boquets of flowers, candle lit dinners, and instead play a video game, get into a tickling match or take silly pictures together. Have fun, and do it together. Laugh and smile. Alot.

Make your relationship a priority.
Especially when you have a family. What your kids need most is to be loved by parents who are happy and productive participants in the world.

Everything is a negotiation.
Remember that there are two parties in the relationship, and together you're so much greater than the sum of your parts.

Embrace imperfection.
Accept that you are both going to make mistakes, and if the mistake was not intentionally hurtful, let it go. Adjust your expectations and align them with reality (dirty socks on the floor, pre-menstrual hormone insanity), not fantasy (a pristine house, a perpetually perky disposition, constantly angelic and well behaved children).

Reinvigorate the Old.
Life's grind sometimes whittles away the parts of us that are carefree, inspired, focused or fun. One of the best things you can do for your spouse is to defend the parts of them that you originally fell in love with and married the other for. And that doesn't mean saying "You used to be so..." It means reminding them that they ARE those things; they're not gone, even on their most beaten down days and hectic days.

Discover the New.
Together, embark on unplanned adventures. Do it often.


La Alicia said...

Awww, what a sweet post. I hope I find that kind of relationship!

AlyGatr said...

Brilliant post! I couldn't agree more. I would add, don't ever get married and think you can "fix" a habit you don't like. If it's a part of who the other person is when you get married, it will likely be there 20 years later. If it changes on it's own, great. If not, you better learn to accept it!