Thursday, July 30, 2009


Today I'm going to cheat just a bit and cross post something here that I posted over the weekend at The Mama Dramalogues, which if you haven't checked it out yet and your a mom, go there now! Seriously right now, trust me on this one! And anyways, you can read this post there too so its not like you're missing anything here.

But anyways, I was thinking alot about this since I originally posted this two Sundays ago, so I'm reposting it here because its my blog and I make the rules :)

I have this list of things that circulates through my head full of things that fall into the "What Not to Do" category of motherhood. That's not to say that I'm a bad mom, because I think during my finer moments I could give Super Mom a run for her money, but I sometimes my moments of pure motherly genius fall short and I become that mom. You all know what I'm talking about and I'm sure at times you've been that mom too! Here are my examples:

1. I’m that mom who will let my two year play with things he shouldn't (my cell phone, the clean laundry, chalk in the house, the television remote, car keys) because I’d rather have him be happy and quiet than screaming while I try to assert my authority.

2. I’m that mom who serves Pop Tarts and cereal for breakfast when we’re in a hurry because “it’s just easier that way.”

3. I'm that mom who sometimes only reads every other page of the boys' bedtime story books because I’m tired and hungry for my own dinner which is at that very moment sitting on the kitchen counter getting colder and colder.

4. I’m that mom who may know the children are doing something in the other room that I expressly told them NOT to do, but pretend I don’t see it so I don’t have to deal with it.

5. I’m that mom who will wait until Monday morning to realize that I have no clean school clothes for my son and then madly search through the dirty clothes for something that can pass for clean.

6. I’m that mom who will bring my kids out to run errands before cleaning the magic marker off of their arms and legs.

7. I’m that mom who allows my nudist children run around in underwear all day as long as they stay inside of the house (although I do sometimes have to retrieve them from the front lawn).

8. I’m that mom who will finally break down and offer my children cookies if it will make them submit to my will.

9. I’m that mom who will let her kids believe that we are going to the park or to the toy store, when we are actually going grocery shopping or running other boring errands. I don’t TELL them that we’re going where they thinks we are – I just don’t tell him that we’re NOT. So it’s not a lie as much as an omission. Right?

10. I’m that mom who answers my sons’s thousands of calls for “MOMMY!” with “GAGE!” instead of just saying, “what is it honey?” And then he answers my “GAGE!” with another “MOMMY!” And because I find this incredibly entertaining I just continue the cycle until we end up enacting a personalized game of Marco-Polo. Except we’re not in a pool. And he knows exactly where I am.

11. I’m that mom who believes that ice cream is the solution for everything. For my children – and myself.

12. I’m that mom who says I won’t let my kids taste raw cookie dough because “it’s not good for them” – when what I really mean is that I’m afraid that they’ll find out that it is in fact, much better raw. Then I eat some when they’re not looking.

13. I’m that mom who lets my toddler believe that all natural fruit snacks are “candy” and that they’re a BIG TREAT. He'll find out about Reese Cups soon enough.

14. I'm that mom who threatens my two year old with a nap more often when I'm the one who is actually tired. If he gets to take a nap, then why shouldn't I.

15. I’m that mom that gives my kids a toy off the shelf to play with while we shop and then puts it back, in a different aisle, right before hitting the checkout and leaving.

16. I’m that of mom that will cook a huge nutritious dinner with the intent of having everyone eat it, then cave halfway through the meal realize that I am kidding myself and put some dinosaur shaped chicken nuggets in the oven for the kids to eat.

17. I'm that mom who thinks that watching PBS kids, Playhouse Disney, and Nick Jr for hours in the mornings when her kids gets up at 6am is absolutely fine. It is educational, right?

18. I'm that mom who tells her kids that she has to poop just so that I can get 5 minutes of alone time, even if I am spending it in the bathroom and my kids think I have constant diarrhea.

19. I'm that mom who takes her kids outside to play or to the park who has an ulterior motive. All of that fresh air and running around will hopefully wear them out and make for an early bedtime.

20. I'm that mom who bought her 6 year old a Wii Fit for Christmas when I knew full well that he'd never touch the thing ... but I would!

So who is that mom? We're all that mom at one point or another I think. A regular fun, loving mom searching for a bit of self preservation and sanity. And yes, sometimes I do take the easy way out even though I always said and intended to be this world class mom who does it all ... but then again the road to hell is paved with good intentions, or rather in this case, the road to a nervous breakdown is paved with needy, screaming children.

So, what kind of mom are you?


AlyGatr said...

I'm that mom who will lie that raw cookie dough is bad for them because I'm afraid they will want to eat the portion I was going to eat :)

Anonymous said...

Ha! I'm not a mom, but I have to say if I were, I'd be guilty of many of the same things. Never fear my dear, I know you are an excellent mom, no worries!

Anonymous said...

p.s. Isn't it funny how we KNOW better than to eat raw cookie dough, but it really is the best part of making cookies...

Albert Giesbrecht said...

Cute article!

It's great that you allow your son to be nude when he wants to be. If he keeps it up, he will have a positive self esteem and not hung up on body issues. Do you take nude pictures of your son?

It would make the article more meaningful and fun.