Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Before My Bubble Bursts

I've been so far beyond tired that I'm not even sure what I should call it anymore.  Exhausted?  Burnt out?  Over-extended?

After more years that I care to count of being a hermit I made a change in my life the last 10 months or so.  I'm active and I'm involved.  I'm social and I have a more of a life that I ever thought that someone like me, who suffered from fairly extreme depression and anxiety ever would.  Unfortunately I jumped into everything head first, and it's catching up with me.

I love that on a given seven day week I actually have plans outside of my house now that don't include grocery shopping or errand running.  I'm part of lots of positive and awesome things, all bigger than I am or could ever be.  I like it.  I genuinely like having something to program into the calender on my phone.

But as much as I love the business that my life has taken on, I miss the slowness of it too.  And I'm not too proud to admit that I'm struggling to find the happy medium because in the middle of carving out this whole new niche for myself and discovering my own long dormant personality I feel like I'm becoming so overwhelmed with all that life has to offer that I'm missing out on the beauty of what is right in front of me.

So I do what I know.  I retreat, take a step back, and slow down.  And I find that in doing so I've found the cure to my problem.  All it took was a bubble machine, a sunny day, and two happy little boys.

3 comments:

Beka said...

ahh, beautiful life:)

Nen said...

love the pics... your boys are so photogenic!

That Shelly Girl said...

I always say that I could never have a social life because I would forget to water it and it would die ;)

But since moving to Johnstown, it's gotten quite full! I limit myself though. A lot. There are many weeks I only leave the house once or twice a week. And I'm ok with that. Being social is draining, especially since I'm just now learning to like myself and learning how to act around other people who *gasp* like me too!

So I know how you feel! If you ever get the urge to sit back and ignore someone, our boys could play and we could watch a movie ;)