Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Little Amanda Grows Flowers


WARNING: The following story is true. No names have been changed. No lies have been told. And no details have been left out or embellished. Oh, and this story is pretty gross. Don't say that I didn't warn you!

Yesterday at my MOPS book study we were each encouraged to tell the story of the worst thing that we had done as children under the age of 13. Immediately my personal tale popped into my own mind.

I was towards the end of our circle of moms, so I had a chance to hear most of everyone else's stories before I had the opportunity to tell my own. And as I listened to the other women telling their tales of stealing bubblegum from a local convenience store or sneaking outside to ride bikes in the dark (totally NORMAL things, by the way), I was left with one realization. I was a demented child.

Just thought I'd put that out there.

My personal story involved a three or four year old me asking my mother what fertilizer was made of (Just in case any of you city folk didn't know, it's cow poop). Naturally, being the brilliant child that I was, I had decided that I would try and grow my own flowers.

... You see where this is going, don't you?

My mom used to let me keep the old diaper wipe boxes to keep Barbie clothes and such in. I had found an empty one stashed in my bedroom, one which I proceeded to hover over and expel some fertilizer all my own. And so I closed the lid on my box and tucked in the back corner of my room, under my bed, waiting for my flowers to grow.

As you can imagine, as the hours and days went by, my bedroom started to smell pretty foul. After about a week my mom demanded that I clean my room. And as she watched to make sure that I cleaned under my bed, rather that shove all of my toys underneath it (my norm at the time) she saw me pull my flower box out of the corner and found out firsthand what the source of the mystery smell really was.

Yeah...... so..... what's the worst thing you've ever done as a child?

4 comments:

April said...

Ummmmmm... EWWWWWW!!! I think you win the prize for grossest kid story EVER!

Me? I was angel and never did anything naughty...

AlyGatr said...

Oh wow! That was creative, if not stinky :) That is just too funny. How puzzled was your mom??

I have to admit, I was always teased about being a "goody goody" and in the 4th grade, some girls bet me I would never steal anything. On the dare, I stole a set of Hello Kitty barrettes from a place called Holiday Mart. I got away with it, but felt so guilty, I showed them to my Dad. When asked where I got them from, I had to admit I took them. He marched me back to the store and made me give them back to the manager and apologize. Thus ended my life of crime.

CourtneyKeb said...

hahahahahaha
your boys are going to love that story!!!!

Nen said...

hahahahaha!!!!!

in 3rd grade, my school bus was always the last to leave... so we had a mini-recess waiting for the bus to come pick us up. our teacher let me and this other boy organize and clean some of the shelves that held the classrooms paper and notebooks (we would do it here and there over time instead of going out to play). well, this boy ended up being a thief! he would take a spelling tablet home here and there... but i never would... and i never tattled. but one day--the temptation was so hard to resist and he coaxed me into stealing a REAM of paper! a WHOLE REAM! i felt SO guilty! i stashed it in my book bag and took it home and then stashed it in this little kitchen set thing we used to play with. my sister found it one day and tattled on me.... and i was so humiliated! i am surprised though--my mom made me take it back and put it on the shelf at school--but i never had to tell my teacher! PHEW! never again did i steal!!! on a sad note... that same kid ended up committing suicide in his teen years. :(