Oh Mandie ♥

100 Marshmallows

2012-02-02T08:56:00.000-05:00

Friday is the 100th day of school. That is 100 days of Gage officially being a school age child and 100 days where mom had to learn to find something to do while both of her babies are off at school during day.

Gage's pre-k class is going to have a little celebration and all of the kids were asked to bring in 100 of something, letting your little ones do the counting.

We were supposed to be creative but instead went with what we had on hand in the cupboard. Thankfully there were 100 mini marshmallows because if not we would have been sending in 100 corn flakes ... and something tells me that 100 cornflakes would have turned into 1000 little crumbs by the time he made it to his class room.

Needless to say a few got nibbled on during our counting adventure. But really, what 5 year old can resist the fluffy sweetness of a marshmallow?
100 days. Gone in a blink.

Weeding the Garden

2012-01-26T16:36:00.000-05:00

Somewhere in some corner of my mind grows a garden. It's filled to the brims with beautiful and perfect vegetables in a rainbow of colors, each and every day bringing a new fresh and ripe batch to sustain myself with.

My mind and my reality are two very different places a lot of the time.

In reality the garden on my life is overflowing. I've smashed too many things in it, leaving no room for rooting or thriving. In fact I'm so busy trying to maintain the sheer abundance of it that I'm falling behind and getting stuck in the overgrowth and weeds. It's completely out of control.

So yeah, I was trying to go with a metaphor there ... how'd I do?

I've over committed myself, and I'm feeling very much like a tomato on a vine without enough room to grow.

In some sort of attempt to not feel like that, I've decided to weed my garden. I've always been that person who says yes to everything. Now I'm saying no. And more than that. I'm backing down from the commitments that I've made that I'm no longer enjoying or our family is no longer gaining anything from. My time is too precious to waste it. My boys are only small once, and I don't want to waste even one small moment that I could otherwise be spending with them. I feel like I'm only giving 1/2 of myself to the things that I truly do love because I'm so burnt out. So I'm shifting my focus to the things I'm passionate about.

As beautiful as that big and colorful garden in my mind was, I'm perfectly ok with my little plot of land right here on earth. And anyways, I don't even like carrots ... so why should I waste the time to cultivate, grow, and care for them?

A Whole Lot of New

2012-01-19T09:59:00.000-05:00

I'm having a hard time adjusting to this new schedule. Living in a new space has created small but noticeable shifts in our daily habits: a new route to school for the boys, a new route to work for the husband, a new way home from the grocery store, a new time when the new mailman comes. There's a lot of new going on around here.

We live in a charming little house on a quiet dirt road now. So far it's been amazing and peaceful, even if we are still in the throws of getting organized and finding out what works for us in this new space. But that's ok, I enjoy placing my little collection of things that life has brought me here and there, if only to bring a smile as the memories they bring replay like an old home movie inside of my head. It's a never ending process that I'm happy to be a part of.

Lost in the shuffle are appointments that I've made and groups that I've joined. I'm trying to contend with this new schedule that this house has given me, but I'm losing. Something is going to give, that much is evident. I need to take the time and re-figure things out; make a new game plan of sorts. I'll get there, it's just slow going. It takes time to get acclimated to so much new.

But still life is good. And even with all of the change that is surrounding us there is order to our home. We have brought back our weekly meal plans that have somehow gotten lost in the mess of life over the last few weeks. It was refreshing to plan out what our family will eat for the next seven days and shop accordingly. We eat more fresh ingredients that way, which are better for our bodies and in turn our souls.

Things are slowly settling into place around here. And as the sun streams into the sun room windows casting beautiful sparkles of light and lovely shadows along the wall I'm reminded once again how very blessed I am. Life is amazing, if we only slow down enough to enjoy what God has created for us.

Moving Right Along

2012-01-15T00:49:00.000-05:00

Things are moving right along around here. They always do. I remember when I was a little girl and my dad would tell me tales of how time would fly by me once I got older. I remember thinking he was nuts. I wish I would have listened. Nowadays it's so easy to get lost in the day to day events as Monday bleeds into Tuesday and so on and so on. I'm thankful for the small moments where I'm able to just stop and catch my breath.

Our new house is slowly morphing into a home, minus a few odds and ends that need to find their place in this new space. Coupling unpacking with the ins and outs of running a house and working makes for slow going, but we're getting there. Tomorrow morning Gage will wake up happy to find that during the night his Daddy set up his train table for him and his Mommy built him a new track to push his little Thomas trains around on. Brayden was content to curl up on the couch with his stack of Diary of a Wimpy Kid books and a thick blanket. It's the small things.

I was able to pull all of my craft supplies out this afternoon. It's literally been months since I've done anything substantial with any of them. I'm itching to create something. Now that we're in a new space where I don't feel as though I have to walk on pins and needles maybe I'll get to make something soon. If I can find the time that is. That seems to be the tricky part.

Life is moving right along. The babies have have the day off from school on Monday, so we'll relax a bit longer this weekend. It'll be a welcome break. And the Earth will keep on turning, and the days will keep on flying by, and we'll keep on counting our blessings and enjoying the ride.

Objects in Mirror...

2012-01-09T22:39:00.000-05:00

Sometimes I think blogging is really and incredibly strange.

When I having a conversation with someone and they mention my blog when we are face-to-face, I get all embarrassed. I start to tell them a story, and they say, "Oh! I read that on your blog!" Or they come up to me and say, "Oh, I just love your blog!" or better yet, "That picture you took of your kids is so adorable!" Without fail, my response is, "You read that?" I'm always shocked. And equally shy about it and eager to change the subject.

Friends will compliment me on my writing and I always get red in the face. I'm still amazed that anyone other than myself and my husband would want to read about my little life happenings that occur during my day to day.

People also ask how I do it all. Or they suggest to me that my life looks ideal, easy, and "perfectly put together", or that I must be "laid back". While I am beyond content with how things work around here, "perfectly put together" is not an adequate description of my life and if I'm being honest, my household is pretty high maintenance and not at all laid back. We are budgeted, list makers, and rule enforcers. And we work mighty hard to keep this ship afloat.

So allow me to tell you all the secret to my success. Here is the thing about blogging:

It's completely up to me to choose what to post on here.

It's as if I have the ability to paint a picture of what my life looks like. Everything I've ever written is true, but I don't always air out all of my dirty laundry on here. Sometimes I will, because I do believe that it helps me to process the situation and look at it more positively. I also believe that if I can be vulnerable, then maybe it can help someone feel less alone in their own situation. But usually, I keep the heavy stuff to myself. Why?

1. I honestly don't think it'd be something you'd want to read. I'm too honest to sugar coat my short comings and the result would more than likely end up in a jumbled rant of Arggggh!
2. Some things are "what happens in this household stays in this household" kind of private.
3. I like to focus on the good, not the bad. I don't want to get too wrapped up in the bad stuff. Choosing to live with joy is hard enough without choosing to dwell on life's storms.

My life is wonderful. I'm exactly where I feel I'm meant to be. That being said, please don't think that it's always rainbows, unicorns and cupcakes around these parts. Because what you don't see...

are the dishes piling sky high, never to be done.
or the clothes exploding from the baskets, never to be put in the drawers.
or the arguments over teaching what the Bible says about certain things rather that what the boys' teachers say about them.
or the stress of juggling multiple volunteering gigs, and being a mom and wife.
or the division of my time that going back to work has caused our family.
or the times that I lose my cool over stupid stuff.
or the struggles for me to accept this post-kiddo body.
or the terror of having a problem with anxiety.
or the fears I have about both Brayden and Gage's well-being.

This is why blogging is strange. I sat back and asked myself the other day what it is I feel when I read other blogs; friends blogs even. When I see other mom's beautiful photos of their sweet children, or read accounts of crafts and cooking all day long, do I feel envy or inspiration? When I see their 1000+ followers, do I wish my blog was like theirs or do I feel happy for them? I'll be honest that I go back and forth. On tough days, I pull the woe is me card. Most of the time though, I feel inspired.

And if I do feel envious, I remind myself that blogs are weird. People get to choose what aspects up their lives they showcase. Nobody is "perfectly put together."

And if that doesn't work, I remind myself that my life's worth is measured in smiles, the smiles of my babies, the smiles of my husband, and the smiles of myself. My own contentment is not determined by that of another. Contentment is not to be measured against another's life. It is to be measured by way of a wise heart, fully focused on what is given and not on what is lacking.

But still ... blogging is strange.

366

2012-01-03T02:19:00.000-05:00

We are knee deep in the throws of moving. And it plain old sucks. Everything and anything is packed away either waiting to be to moved over to the new house or waiting to be dropped off at the thrift store. So, after a mini meltdown involving a missing pair of Thomas the Tank Engine underwear and spending the day maneuvering around stacks of boxes, bedtime was mighty sweet last night.

I made a list of goals for 2012. There they are, right down there...

Unfortunately for the next week or so we'll be between houses, making the start of my goals a bit tricky. But my camera is still unpacked and in plain sight. And even when it's not, I'll have my iPhone close by.

I attempted a 365 photo challenge a few years ago. And I failed, quite miserably in fact. And truth be told, I'll probably fail this time too. It's easy to get caught up in the day without even a thought as to picking up my camera. But I do want to be more intentional about photographing my life and my family. I want to catch those small moments that often seem inconsequential, because those overlooked happening are the heartbeats of my day.

Check out my 366 (Leap Year!) right here.

2011 The Shorthand Version

2012-01-01T07:00:00.004-05:00

New Beginnings

2011-12-31T21:30:00.040-05:00

New Beginnings. That's what I'm going with here.

I absolutely hate making New Years resolutions. And to be honest I hate reading about other peoples New Years resolutions. I don't see why we need to wait for an arbitrary date to change our lives. What's wrong with today? What's wrong with right now. Funny how that works out. Today happens to be New Years Day. It's just past midnight. The babies are snuggled into their beds after staying up late to welcome 2012. They dropped like flies, no sooner hitting the pillow before they were off to sleep.
I haven't posted here in almost 2 months. And to be honest I wasn't sure if this blog was something that I'd ever come back to.

I know that I owe you all an explanation. And to those of you who have emailed me to see if I was ok, thank you. I wish I had some big drawn out anwser for you, but the truth is that I just needed a break. I needed to be present in my kids lives more fully and not from behind a computer screen or a camera lens. I had lost the joy that journaling brings to me and I just needed to take some time to recoup and gain a fresh perspective. There was just too much negativity in my life and I needed to pick the weeds out so that the flowers had room to grow.

I used to love your blog before you wrote about religion. Now I can't stand it.
I come here to see your crafts, not get parenting tips.

You post way too many pictures of your kids.

What happened to you? You turned into a bible thumper.
I remember back when you used to post every single day.

Ouch. I get it, I really do. I write a blog that not everyone can identify with and I write about things that don't interest everyone. I do talk about Jesus a lot on here, and I sure do take a bazillion pictures of my kids, because they are as cute as can be. And I do it all because I can. Because this is my space where I share my life and the ways in which I have been blessed.

Like a fool though, I let the handful of negative words in the mountain of positive ones direct my path. And that plain old stinks. I don't always remember that there are real and true friends on the other side of this blog, people that are entwined into the lives of my family and I and who genuinely care what happen to us and where we go. I didn't hold myself accountable, and for that I am sorry.

I need to figure out how to make this work for me. I want this blog to be an honest reflection of how I live my life. My days are full, as is my heart. And I need to find a way to protect it.

Above all else, guard your heart,
for everything you do flows from it.
Proverbs 4:23

I'm letting this verse guide the direction I take this blog from now on. I hope that you'll understand.

I've disabled the comments on my blog for the time being. I don't know if they'll stay off forever, but I'm easing back into posting. Right now I want to write for me. I want this space to serve as a collection of memories that I can share with my friends and family and hopefully someday my children. I want to purge my hopes and dreams someplace where I can come back to them and see if they came to fruition. I want to be deliberate in my posts, and that means moderating myself and my blog.

Up on the navigation bar is my contact information. I do hope you'll email me if you have a comment, question, and just want to say hello. I love hearing from you all, I truly do. I just think that it might be best if it's a bit more private in indirect.

Life is sweet. This is my way of sharing it.
Welcome 2012

The Last of It

2011-11-09T08:54:00.000-05:00

When I sat down and wrote my last post, I didn't do it with any sort of intentions. I just wrote what I was feeling, and for me that turned out to be a pretty cathartic experience.

It seems that getting all of my jumbled thoughts and emotions out and organized made way for something new and strong to take root inside of me. And as much as what's going on sucks right now, I think I've finally realized that I just can't stress over it anymore because it's taking away valuable time. And really, there is nothing I can do to change what's happened. So in an act of self preservation, I'm going to move forward.

To all of the amazing people who commented and emailed me - thank you so much. From the bottom of my heart, thank you. I apologize for not replying to you all individually, but for me at the time doing so was acknowledging my situation and my myriad of emotions surrounding it. I'm humbled by you all, truly. But I'm trying to move past the hurt and start being productive. I hope you understand.

And that's the last I'll post about it.
On to bigger and better things!

Storms of This Life

2011-11-01T01:32:00.000-04:00

Saturday October, 29th - 10 inches of snow

I've been meaning to sit down and write about my blog absence for awhile now. But one day turned into one week, and one week turned into one month and so on and so on. I'd like to say that that I've been too busy to do it, but the truth is I am embarassed by what happened and it hasn't been something that I am eager to share. And if I'm being honest right now, it's still up in the air as to whether I'll actually hit the publish post button when I'm done.

It is currently 12:58 am. Everyone in the house is long since asleep, but I am still awake and will be until the sleeping pills I took ten minutes ago start to kick in. I hate that I have to take them to fall asleep, after I spent months and months weaning myself off of anti-depressants and anti-anxiety meds. I absolutely loathe having to rely on some kind of chemical for my body to perform what should be normal functions. It makes me mad.  But my brain just won't shut off when I lay my head down at night without them. So I take them, faithfully. If I kid myself into thinking that I don't need the pills then I end up back up and out of bed, wide awake, just like tonight.

I've posted about our house a lot on here.  I've wrote about our love for it and the land surrounding it. I've shared pictures of the beauty that we've been lucky enough to be surrounded with, where my kids can run and play.  For three years it's been more than a house, it's been a home.

This house used to be my husbands great uncles. As he got older he was unable to take care of the property and was eventually moved into a nursing home.  Needing someone equipped to care for the land and wanting it to stay in the family the house was offered to us. And of course we jumped at the oppertunity. Mike grew up here, spending his mornings and afternoons here with his great aunt and uncle while his mom worked. This house is special to him, and because of that it was special to me.

Three years later the "We want to keep the house in the family." turned into "We'd like to retire early and our selling the house. Please leave."

Trust me, I know.  It's a pretty awful thing to do. What's more awful is that we don't have any place to go. There are literally no places to rent in the school district that my boys go to, and our credit sucks too bad to buy. We've even been looking in the surrounding areas, but have came up with a big bunch of nothing. We are looking, quite agressively. But even if we do find someplace to move to it may very well break us fininacially. There is first and last month rent to consider, a security deposit, heating oil (because most of the property around here is reliant on oil, which is purchased in bulk per season), not to mention the holidays that are right around the corner along with both Brayden and Gage's birthdays. But still, we'd have to find a place first before we can even begin to worry about all of that.

I'll be honest, my faith is shaken. It's been months now without any progress. And in an effort to force us to leave the house we're currently in our "family" has driven the rent up to an astronomical amount. Add to that my extreme ability to constantly worry about things and you've pretty much got someone who is an emotional mess.

But I am trying to smile, for the sake of my kids. And I am trying to distract myself and my family with things going on, such as all of the Halloween festivities. But the truth is, I have pretty much abandoned my blog because everying else happening right now seems so insignificant compared to this storm right now and even though I'd love to sit down to my laptop and type all about our happy life I just can't move passed the pain of what's happening to us right now. Because if I did, it will be totally half assed, as my last few sporadic posts so clearly demonstrate.

I'm mad as hell. My husband works so hard. He has not one but two awesome jobs and his only goal in life is so support his family. My boys don't deserve to be bounced around from one home to another either. All we've ever done is love this place with our whole hearts. And yet it seems that was never enough. I have no idea what's next. None at all. But if you've been wondering where I've been, there you have it. I've been trapped in a crappy situation and have been too busy worrying over where to go from here.

Please pray.

Procrastination

2011-10-28T10:06:00.000-04:00

I've been 28 for a month and a half. And just today I updated my list of goals on the far right sidebar to be 29 Before 29.

I'm on top of things, let me tell you.

Also, I switched up the pictures in my banner to some recent favorites.

Procrastination at it's finest folks.

A Day at the Pumpkin Patch

2011-10-24T15:51:00.000-04:00

A ton of pumpkin patch pictures of my sweet boys.

What can I say, when I have a camera in hand I can't help but take a thousand pictures of their cute smiling faces.

It was a cold and windy day, but we had oodles of fun!
Playing face in the hole,

Looking at the baby animals,

Running through the hale bale maze and sliding down the slide,

Driving trucks through the corn box,

Walking through the muddy corn maze,

A hale bale ride touring the farm,

And a cart full of pumpkins ready to take home and carve.

A wonderful day indeed.

A Week Of

2011-10-21T13:03:00.001-04:00

This has been an intense week.

It's been a week of disappointments,

a week of tears,

a week of failures,

a week of hopelessness,

a week of questions,

a week of sadness,

and a week of not know which direction to go.

But more importantly it's been a week of perseverance,

a week of taking it day by day

a week of stamina

a week of life going on amidst life's storm.

Even though I'm feeling increasingly stagnant as of late, I see that the earth still turns. The leaves are still changing colors and falling to the ground, dotting the ground with speckles of red and gold. The air still chills and the moon still gives rise to the sun each and every morning.

And even when I want to cry, I have to smile.

For them.

Hello, Friend

2011-10-18T13:16:00.000-04:00

Prayers are funny things. So often we wish for things that are impossible to be achieved in the very given moment in which we ask for them. Even more frequently, we wish for things that we only think we want at that specific point in time because we're so consumed by the thoughts of whatever it is we're asking for that we can't see how it can be possible to live without it. Instant gratification; that's what we're in search of.

Sometimes, however, it's the things we're forced to wait for that end up being what we've needed, and unknowingly been pleading for, all along.

My blog can be, without a doubt, the incarnation of every one of my once believed to be unanswered prayers. It has became the friend I'd needed and wished for during my days of isolated care giving; the ear I'd needed more times than I could count when things became more than I could manage on my own; the voice I'd needed time and time again to tell me that no matter what happened, everything would be okay; and the outlet I needed when life got hard and I needed to gather and organize my thoughts.

It's a funny, fickle thing. Just last week and the week before that I toyed around with the idea of stopping my posts of my little space here. And as lovely as that was for a few days, I missed my old friend. I craved it.

Hello again.

Listen Carefully

2011-09-29T12:25:00.000-04:00

Recently I was asked by someone what my favourite sounds were. In that moment, I was surprised when I found it difficult to answer. I'd never actually taken the time to consciously make note of the sounds that make me smile. Since then, I've made list of my most favorite to share.

The sweet peals of laughter that come from my boys.
Mike telling me each and every day that he loves me.

The wet smooch of good night kisses before bed.
Pages turning as I get lost in my most beloved books.

The peaceful snore from Mike as he drifts off to sleep on the couch at night.

Silence, as I spend time with God.

It's not the rain that I love, nor is it the wind blowing through the trees. It's not a complicated concerto, or the hustle and bustle of a big city. But to me it's music all the same. There is no composer greater than God, and the song that he weaves together in the sounds of my family is what truly makes me smile.

I'm Still Here

2011-09-26T09:35:00.000-04:00

I feel as though I haven't posted on my blog in ages!

I didn't disappear, I promise you that (if anyone out there is even still reading this). Over the last few weeks life has changed pretty dramatically in our household and I've been taking a bit of time to get used to our new schedules.

Mike is working two jobs right now
I've been working for the past few months.
Both boys are in school during the day.
Brayden has boy scout meetings one evening a week.
Brayden sings in a children's choir which has practice once a week.
I'm in a small group that meets once a week.
I'm part of the leadership team for our local MOPS group, which requires lots of planning and meetings throughout the week.
I'm the maid of honor in a wedding coming up in less than 2 weeks.
Oh yeah, and I'm still a mom and a wife.

To a lot of people that probably doesn't seem like too much, but to me it seems like the entire Earth has shifted right off of it's axis when you compare that schedule to the carefree one I had not too long ago. I love every single thing on there, buy boy oh boy am I busy now, and I'm using my down time more carefully which means being unplugged and away from the computer more often.

Anyways, as I continue to adjust I hope that you'll excuse my sporadic posting. I'm hoping that I'm a bit more on top of things this week and that I can get back to my regularly scheduled programming now. But really, who knows what wrench can get thrown into this game of life.

And just to prove that I have in fact been alive this past week, here are a few photos of my adventures.

A Post on Perfectionism

2011-09-15T09:07:00.004-04:00

(These pretty vintage glasses from Goodwill make me happy)

I stress out over really silly things. Does anyone else do that, or am I the only one? I stress out about our morning routine: packing lunches, eating breakfast, brushing teeth, getting dressed, catching the school bus, etc. I stress out about being on time for things and making sure that I'm always 100% prepared. I'm the queen of really dumb things to get all worked up over.

You know that saying "Don't sweat the small stuff"? I'm pretty sure that I'm the exception to that rule because I stress more about the small stuff than I do the big stuff.

Ironically enough, I like to think of myself as an all-around, pretty easy-going person rather than this high maintenance monster that I've created in my head. What I think is happening is that I'm still trying to be perfect in every aspect of my life.

Perfect Wife

Perfect Mom

Perfect Friend

Perfect Cook
Perfect Artist
Perfect Sister

Perfect Daughter
Perfect Christian

I'm not too proud to admit that I want to say the right thing at the right time in the right way and that I want to do the right thing at the right time in the right way.

Being a perfectionist is not a happy profession because there was and is only one perfect person to ever walk this earth, Jesus. And we can never attain even a shred of that perfection until we go to Heaven.

We are all infected and impure with sin. When we display our righteous deeds, they are nothing but filthy rags. Like autumn leaves, we wither and fall, and our sins sweep us away like the wind.
Isaiah 64:6

So why in the world am I disappointed with myself and my life when it is not perfectly perfect in every way?

The past few weeks have been a whirlwind of activity around here between school, the boys' extra curricular activities, getting ready for a dear friends bridal shower and wedding, MOPS, small group, and so much more that I can't even seem to think straight.

These are all things that I love, and are all things that I signed up for and said yes too because they bring me joy. But lately it's been those small things that are getting in the way of me actually being happy.

I am not perfect.

I will never be perfect.

The sooner I get on with not trying to achieve perfection the sooner I can get on with living, and smiling genuine big smiles of happiness.

Today's goal: smile more.

Living Unplugged

2011-09-12T09:37:00.000-04:00

taken with my iPhone while standing on my front porch

I've been making a conscience effort to get up and live life more.

Everyone is gone during the day, the boys off at school and the husband off at work. Right now it's just me and the cat. Without two little boys at home all day every day the house has been staying cleaner, only half riddled with tiny toy trains and legos. And while it would be so easy to just plop my bum down on the couch and spend my now quiet mornings and afternoons right here in front of the computer I'm not. Because that it a hole I don't want to get sucked in to.

So instead I'm filling my days with devotions, baking, crafting ... anything to keep me busy and the wheels in my brain occupied.

I'm working again. I've recently taken a really great job that allows me to work from home for a few hours in the evenings. It's really pretty perfect for our family. But because I'm on the computer at nights working now, my days are a bit more sacred. I enjoy being unplugged.

Recharging with Carnival Food

2011-09-06T09:00:00.000-04:00

This weekend was exactly what I needed. Three days of recharging, having fun, seeing friends, getting out of the house, and enjoying life. Yes, I daresay that after a week of stress it was just what the doctor ordered.

On Sunday we went to the county fair where we rode rides, played games, ate some bad carnival food, drank fresh squeezed lemonade, and got soaking wet.

And because of the threat turned downpour of rain I left my camera at home and was left with only my iPhone, which allowed me to have some instagram fun at the fair.

A good weekend indeed!

Tornado

2011-08-31T08:43:00.001-04:00

The dust has finally settled from this mornings rush of activity in the kitchen. Breakfast was ate and lunchboxes were packed while picky little boys made sure that I included this and definitely not that. Our little tornado of two has been herded out the door, onto the school bus, and by now has been safely delivered to their classrooms. Other than Pandora (Blue October Radio, if you must know) the house is quiet.

And I am all alone for the next six hours until Mike gets home from work, and then just over an hour after that my little tornado of two will back home from their day at school and the activity that ceased this morning with their leaving will pick right back up where it left off.

But for now the house is mostly silent. And I can't stand it one bit.

(These pictures have absolutely nothing to do with this post, but boy is this half of my tornado cute.)

Brayden's New Life

2011-08-30T12:56:00.000-04:00

A few weeks ago Brayden and I were sitting in church on a Sunday morning. He and I were acting as place savers while Mike was walking Gage downstairs to his preschool group. While we were sitting there waiting for Daddy to get back I was thumbing through that weeks bulletin. Brayden, being the inquisitive boy that he is, was tucked along my side and reading along with me. Nestled inside of that bulletin was a sign up sheet for those who would like to be baptised at our annual church picnic.

Mike and I are Baptists so neither one of our boys have been baptised. We believe that a person has to have a real understanding of what it means to have Jesus in their heart before being baptised, and in fact Mike and I were only baptised three years ago.

We, as parents, decided awhile ago to raise our children in a Christian home. My boys know who Jesus is and they both read the Bible regularly. So when Brayden saw that insert in the bulletin that Sunday morning and asked if he could be baptised I was beyond proud.

The place our church holds it's yearly picnic is breathtaking. And much to Brayden's enjoyment, they provide canoes for a bit of boating.

And like the brave 8 year old boy that he is, he went under the water and made his life brand new.

And like any 4 year old boy, Gage was unimpressed, choosing to play Angry Birds on his daddy's phone.

Congratulations, ~~little~~ big man!

A New Adventure

2011-08-29T09:31:00.001-04:00

It seems that for the past few weeks we've been doing quite a bit of waiting in anticipation of this day.
Today is a very BIG day.

As of today, Brayden is officially a 3rd grader and Gage is off on a new adventure as well as he starts his very first day of pre-K.

Gage will ride the big bus with his brother and will head into the school with all of the other boys and girls. Meanwhile this mom is spending her first school day alone and in an empty house while her babies are off learning.

For Brayden this is old news, this whole first day of school hooplah. But still he is nervous. He'll have a new teacher, a new classroom, and he'll meet new kids and make new friends. We've been trying very hard to make sure that his worries and excitement don't get lost in the shuffle of his little brother starting school. You see, Brayden has a very important job. Not only is he off on a new adventure of his own, but today he has to show off his skills as a big brother as he helps Gage around the school.

Gage woke up this morning crying. My poor baby was scared. We had orientation a little over a week ago where he was able to tour his new school (although he'd been in there lots of times before courtesy of his brothers activities over the years), meet his teacher, and check out his new classroom and find the table with his name on it where he will sit. But still, Mom and Dad were with him for orientation. Today was the real deal. And despite this mornings wake up tears, his brother managed to get him excited about school and Gage was all smiles as the bus stopped at the end of our driveway.

And yes, I'm totally that mom who dresses her kids the same for the first day of school (and quite a few other days if I'm being honest).

And I may or may not have taken about 100 pictures of Brayden and Gage's new school adventure.

It's Crazy Around Here

2011-08-23T11:27:00.000-04:00

My poor blog!

I feel like I haven't really been present around here in weeks. Life lately has been tricky and filled to the brim with both of my boys starting school next week, Gage for the first time ever. On top of that we've been trying to squeeze every last minute of fun out of what's left of Summer vacation. Oh and did I mention that I'm the Creative Activities Coordinator for our town's area MOPS group this year? I've had to do lots of planning and meetings to get ready for the new MOPS year, so that's kept me busy as well, but in a very rich and fulfilled way. Oh yeah, and I got a job too (I'm lucky enough to work from home!). When I said that life's gotten tricky, I wasn't kidding!

I'm hoping that come Monday, with the boys both occupied during the day that things will slowly start to even out as much as they can. Life has always been exciting (yeah, that's the right word) around here, and it's going to be quite a shock to my system to have them both gone all day.

Anyways, enough complaining! Let's talk about Mother's of Preschoolers (MOPS for short). Do you have one where you live? If you do, why oh why are you not a part of it? I'm not going to sit here and tell you all about what it is because you all know how Google works, but I will tell you that it's incredible and that I can't picture my life right now with it and the amazing friends I've made there. In fact, last weekend was our MOPS summer picnic, where our entire families got to go and have a great time.

Even though life is busy right now, we're having lots of fun. And those smiley little boys up there make it all worth it.

The Carneige Science Center

2011-08-18T07:00:00.001-04:00

The Summer of 2011 is dwindling down to it's last days. In a few very short weeks I'll have not one but two boys leaving the hot days of running through the grass barefoot behind and heading off on the big yellow bus to school, with Brayden going to third grade and Gage starting pre-k. Our family is in a mad rush to fit in all of the little things that we didn't get to do during these last three months of fun, the things that somehow got swept away in the mixture of lazy days, vacations, lake swimming, etc, etc, etc. Because heaven forbid we waste one precious moment of the splendid-ness of the season.

On Tuesday our little family of four headed off on a road trip with another family of 5 (almost 6) to Pittsburgh to visit the Carnegie Science Center. Brayden, my little science loving boy was in awe the entire time we were there while Gage was just happy to have other boys his age to run around and play with.

Brayden was fascinated by the mechanics of cellular function while Gage was enthralled by the gigantic train set (where he was quite pleased to discover a Thomas the Tank Engine making his rounds with the other trains).

There were robots and games, puzzles, and bridges, water to splash in and an earthquake simulators to ride in. It was pretty much a little boys dream come true. And the smiles that it placed on their happy little faces made it all worth it for me as well.

Super smart Brayden was called up to participate in demonstrations, showing off his knowledge that he picked up previously this Summer when he went to science day camp. Gage pretended to be a deep sea diver and manned a play submarine and then went on the hunt for rare and exotic fish ... picking out all of the ones that looked like either Dory or Nemo's Dad (because none of them had a "hurt-y fin" so they couldn't possibly be Nemo himself).

I didn't discover until I got home that my camera settings were a bit off, the changing lights in each and every museum exhibit not helping matters at all. But that's how life goes sometimes, isn't it. I would probably be upset, if it weren't for each and every single memory and laugh of glee being already so deeply ingrained in my mind.

And even though Summer is coming to a close, our family adventures continue.
Just keep swimming, swimming, swimming.....

Pain in the Neck

2011-08-15T11:22:00.001-04:00

I didn't intentionally set out to not blog at all for a week. Really I didn't. The middle of last week flew by in a mad rush of little boys, cleaning house, and cooking dinners and before I knew it, it was late Thursday night and I was getting ready to go to bed. I said to myself, "Tomorrow I'll definitely blog. I mean I haven't done it all week." I even had what I thought was a pretty great idea about what to write.

But you know what they say about best laid plans.

Friday was the first time all Summer long that my boys slept in. And by slept in, I mean stayed asleep past the 8am mark. It was a morning to remember, and it would have been a feat to be celebrated thanks to the chipper mood I'm sure I would have had from having gained that extra hour of sleep. There would have been stacks of yummy pancakes to be ate, maybe even with chocolate chips in them. Unfortunately I was already awake and had been since around 6am. I woke up with an incredibly horrific shooting, stabbing pain in the right side of my neck. I couldn't move. So I laid there and cried. It took me two hours to be able to sit up and get out of bed. Just as I was making my way into the living room, two sleepy eyed little boys were peeking out of their bedroom, ready to greet the day.

So I did what any rational person in my extremely painful state would do, I called my husband in tears and begged him to come home from work because I was so much pain I literally couldn't function. He did, of course and my boys got to spend an impromtu day with their grandma, because aside from a date with the chiropractor I wasn't moving. I couldn't turn my neck at all, and if I tried to look up or down it felt like someone inside of me was cutting into the muscles that support my head with a dull, rusty knife.

Since going and getting my poor neck cracked repeatedly (first time ever to a chiropractor, by the way. It's a pretty scary experience. Luckily my chiropractor was awesome and completely put me at ease) I've felt a little better. And although I wanted to no nothing but spend the weekend curled up on my couch with a bottle of ibuprofen and an ice pack I had a long standing date with my boys for a day of back to school clothes shopping and Cici's pizza eatting, which was followed by an afternoon of working in the MOPS booth at a local community day festival. I was in pain, but I smiled my way through it.

Needless to say, after all of that my ice pack and I are like this (twists fingers to show you just how close we are).

I have another chiropractor appointment today, and am eagerly awaiting the relief that I know it's going to bring!

So yeah .... what did you do this weekend?

A Wild Time Was Had By All

2011-08-08T13:01:00.000-04:00

This Summer has been a crazy one. It seems like just about every single second of our weekends has been scheduled with plans, trips, meetings, and meet ups. And those five days between one Saturday and Sunday and the next are just as jammed packed. It's made for a fun, but very busy season.

On Sunday we had no plans whatsoever, and it was grand. I think most people who have spent the past two months running what feels like a marathon would just stop and rest if they were given the opportunity that yesterday provided us with. Not us, though. We gathered up the boys, along with one of my younger brothers, and headed off on a day trip out to the Pittsburgh Zoo.

It was hot and sticky and our legs were tired from dancing the evening away at a wedding the night before, but we made it. We saw lions, and tigers, and bears (Oh My!). And we had a fantastic day.

When Cooking Goes Bad

2011-08-04T13:30:00.000-04:00

For as long as I can remember I've had a love/hate relationship with cooking.

Sometimes (when I'm in the mood that is) I'm a master chef, cooking everything homemade and making big elaborate meals that require hours of time to be spent in the kitchen.

And other times ... well, I'm much rather just order a pizza than dirty a pot.

Last night was one of those I don't want to cook a single thing kind of days. I should have took it for what is was and rolled with it. But that's life isn't it ... full of should haves.

Recently, in an effort to curb our spending on food and eat better, the hubs and I decided to start making weekly meal plans and produce grocery lists from those meal plans instead of doing the "oh my goodness it's 5 o'clock, what do I have stashed in the freezer that I can make for dinner?"

On my weekly to do list was to make zucchini bread using one of the mammoth zucchinis we plucked from our garden. Mike had every so nicely asked me to make it and off I went to the grocery store to pick up the ingredients that we didn't have on hand and made a note on our weekly menu that I'd get cooking Wednesday night. I love to bake, so I didn't foresee a problem.

And I do love to bake, really I do.... in the Winter. When it's 90 degrees outside (at night!) the last thing you want to do is turn your oven on. And so I was a grumpy, sweaty, ball of miserable while I slaved away making Mike's zucchini breads.

I should have waited until today when it was overcast outside with a lovely breeze floating through the windows to turn that oven on.

I should have realized as soon as I cracked that first egg that I was in no mindset to bake.

I did realize it when I took the first bread out of the oven, only to drop it all over the floor and watch it crumble into a hundred pieces.

And that realization was confirmed when I pulled the second bread out of the oven and found it black and hard as a rock.

Yep ... never should have set foot in the kitchen last night.

Today was a better. Today I wanted to cook. I wanted to bake. And so I did!

Today I remade the zucchini breads, and they turned out scrumptious.
I even cut up the cucumbers my mother in law brought me over from her garden (because stinking groundhogs ate the ones I tried to grow) and made homemade pickles.
And marinating in the refrigerator right now are buttermilk drumsticks, courtesy of Nigella Express.

Yes, the kitchen and I are good friends today.
Yesterday ... not so much.

Instagrams

2011-08-03T13:11:00.000-04:00

No big fancy post today, I'm busy officially being a graphic designer (yay!) and working on a friend's blog layout. But here are a few instagrams from our week so far.

She and He - August

2011-08-01T09:35:00.000-04:00

She didn't do a She and He post for July since they were in Florida on vacation.

He is back to working a ton of hours, but is still managing to make the time to do fun family activities together.

She seems to be using the picture above for everything lately. It's a good picture.

He is a trooper for sitting up to watch Charlie St. Cloud with his wife.

She is doing leadership in MOPs this year and is in charge of Creative Activities for our group of 140 woman.

He, a vehicle lover of epic proportions, is somehow ok with us being in the market for a new minivan.

She is going to be a bridesmaid on Saturday for a dear couple of friends' wedding.

He is ready for the Fall, when working outside all day won't be so stinkin' hot.

She is not at all prepared for her baby Gage to start pre-k in just over three weeks.

He'll probably have to use a vacation day to console his sure to be teary eyed wife.

They are going to finish out this Summer with a bang.

He is happy with his simple but full life.

She is happy with her simple but full life.

Airplanes are Cool

2011-07-28T09:49:00.000-04:00

Little boys and airplanes go together like peas and carrots.

Even more so when their daddy not only works at, but supervises the fueling operations at the local airport.

Because when cool planes like these ones fly in, we are often the first ones to know about it.

It Takes Work

2011-07-25T09:53:00.002-04:00

I'm going to be 100% honest.
To someone who happens along my blog and does not come around here regularly my husband Mike and I look like a match made in heaven.
I write sweet things about how much I love him.
And I post sweet pictures of the two of us being in love.
Sometimes I even reminisce about the beginning of our relationship.

Unfortunately, it has never been as easy as sometimes those pictures make it out to be.
Our marriage takes work.
And to be honest there have been times where I wondered if we even would make it.

We have both made mistakes, lots of them.
But we are both human and that comes with the territory.
And without Jesus Christ as the center of our marriage,
I'm sure we would both be in very different places right now.

In reality our marriage has sometimes been messy.
I've thrown things and he's slammed doors.
We've yelled at each other and we've stayed up all night long working out our problems.
And there have been moments that have broken us down.
And we have had to figure out how to heal and forgive each other.

Our marriage is a work in progress, as are we both individually.
We are striving to be children of God who glorify Him in all we do, our marriage included.
But there are days that we fail,
and to be honest, there probably always will be.
But we are fighting for our marriage.

Some days are much harder than other ones,
But those hard days are so worth it.
Because despite our faults he was made for me
And I for him.

Fun at the Jubilee

2011-07-22T09:15:00.000-04:00

Just a few poor quality cell phone pictures taken while at the Firemen's Parade and the Jubilee. They really don't need more of a write up than that do they? We had a blast, even though we sweated our buns off. This heat wave making it's way through the country is certainly taking it's toll on us. But we still got for an evening of food, fun, and family. And snow cones.

Where Do I Go From Here?

2011-07-20T11:52:00.001-04:00

When I first started this blog, way back when, I had good intentions. I've always been a memory keeper, be it on the pages on my scrapbooks or written in my journals. I knew that this platform and I would mesh, and mesh well. And for a while we did.

I have loved every single aspect of blogging right from the very start. At the beginning I'd have my posts planned out days in advance, a small list of things to blog about sitting right next to my computer. And if you've been visiting here awhile then you already know just how much I love the design aspect of it all to, as this blog has taken many forms over the years: new headers, new columns, new widths, new, well, everything. Everything things got stale around here, all I had to do was shake them up a little and I would be happy. It worked for me. The design I have right now is probably the one that I've had the longest, though.

For awhile things went great. I gained followers, who turned into friends. I had a slew of things to blog about. And I had the time to devote to it.

Things are different now. My boys are getting older and they are doing more things, things that I want to be a part of. I'm involved in things outside of the home now, like choir and MOPs. I'm working (more on that one later, since I haven't spilled the beans yet). And I have a house to maintain, laundry to do, and dinner to cook. Time is a fickle thing.

In the past year or so I've gotten very busy, and that's ok. I'm happy that I'm out there living my life. Unfortunately something had to give, and it seems to me that that something has been blogging. A lot of those great friends that I've made are gone now, mostly because I didn't keep up my end of the bargain. I didn't stay in touch and I didn't visit their blogs everyday to share the love that they graced me with. And I wish I would fix that, I honestly do. And those posts that I had lined up and ready to go? Yeah, now I'm struggling to find something to even write about. There are things going on in my life that I don't want to share, personal things that I want to keep just for me. Somewhere along the line my priorities shifted. And some days, it's sad to say, but my heart's just not in it anymore.

I do love this blog. It's been my go-to place to release my emotions and to tell my story. It gave me an outlet to write for me, for my boys, and for my husband. And even though along the way things have gotten jumbled this is still my space to just be me, with no pretension and no hiding. If people like what I have to say then they'll keep coming back. Before I would stress out over gaining popularity and gaining followers, now I write everyday with the mentality of "stick around if you see something you like, if not don't let the proverbial door hit you on the bum on your way out. But when those I counted as friends started walking away, well that make think twice.

So where do I go from here? That's the question isn't it?

Will I quit blogging?
No. I love it too much. But I will probably stick to my less frequent posting schedule. It works for me. But I will quit stressing over the little things that can so easily bring me down. As much as I love thing blog, I love the smiles on my boys faces more when I spend time with them instead of sitting in front of this computer. And that, my friends, is what life is all about.

Confessions

2011-07-18T09:58:00.002-04:00

Confession #1
I haven't picked up my camera in 2 weeks. It's felt so liberating watching lifes moments unfold organically instead of viewing everything from behind a camera lens.

Confession #2
I'm obsessed with Cherry Kool-Aid, but only during Summer.

Confession #3
I'm not an outdoorsy person at all, not even a little bit. I'd much rather be inside, lounging on the couch with my computer or a good book than be outside doing something active.

Confession #4
I love to collect pretty fabrics to sew, but hate actually cutting into them. I keep them all folded nicely on a shelf to look pretty instead.

Confession #5
My birthday is in September and I informed the husband that for my present I'd like a new tattoo. I'm currently in the middle of planning just what to get.

Confession #6
I usually take a nap every afternoon. I'm an insomniac and only sleep for a handful of hours during the night. I supplement my sleep during the day so that I'm not a total crab.

Confession #7
I have a problem with home design blogs that picture immaculate houses full of pristine looking decorations. A home should be lived in and filled with memories, and that includes family pictures on the wall, toys scattered across the floor, hand drawn pictures stuck to the refrigerator door, and the remnants of a home cooked meal on the kitchen counter.

Confession #8
I can swim, but being under water gives me panic attacks. I use my kids as an excuse to stay in the shallow end. I'm scared of what will happen when they get bigger and don't need me to be right there watching over them anymore.

Confession #9
I can quote the entire movie Mallrats, line for line.

Confession #10
Now that I have an iPhone, pooping has never been so fun! (Don't pretend like you don't do it too!)

Storyteller

2011-07-15T12:05:00.000-04:00

I want to be a walking collection of stories someday, so that my boys will never forget where they came from or will never think to question where they're going. I want to be one of those people who can glance at the pages tucked away in an old photo album and stir up some dusty memory of a time far away. Maybe the memory will be mine, or perhaps it will belong to the pages of our ancestors or written in the pages of a history book, but it'll be worth sharing all the same.

I want to tell stories like the master story teller, Jesus. His stories were provocative and invited reflection. His love for us could be found in each word he uttered. That's the kind of story teller I want to be.

Florida Recap Part Four - Vilano Beach

2011-07-11T11:43:00.000-04:00

I'm running on E today, so excuse my lack of a formal and awesome blog post about Vilano Beach, which our family loved. There was driving in the sand, sea critters a plenty, building masterpieces in the sand, and splashing in the water.

Here's hoping the pictures do it justice, because today I'm just too tired to add in the words.... you know how that goes, mama's.

Florida Recap Part Three - The Lake House

2011-07-08T16:04:00.000-04:00

The last time we were in Florida we were lucky enough to be invited over to the Lake House, which is the home of the hubs' cousin's wife's Dad (follow all of that?). The house itself is absolutely beautiful with a lovely open floor plan, a giant flat stone fireplace, and floor to ceiling windows that show one of the most incredible views I have ever seen. This amazing house is seated right on Lake Santa Fe and comes complete with its own private beach, dock, and boat launch. Living there, I can only assume, would be like living inside of a painting.

So this time in Florida, three years later, when we were again invited to spend the afternoon at the Lake House swimming we quite literally jumped at the chance. Together in our swimsuits and with our towels wrapped around our necks, we jumped into the car and took off on a small road trip to spend the day relaxing and splashing around with family.

Florida Recap Part Two - Disney World

2011-07-07T11:37:00.000-04:00

While the main objective of our Florida vacation was to see our family that we don't often get to see, we knew we had to make a visit to some amusement park during our stay. I mean, how can you be in Florida, so close to all of that fun, and not go?

Before we left we tossed around the options of spending a day at either Seaworld, Universal Studios (because Amanda really wanted to visit the new Harry Potter land park), or Disney World, all of which being roughly a three hour drive from where we were staying in Jacksonville. In the end Disney of course won out, being the park that the kids would get the most enjoyment out of (and that mom and dad got the biggest discount of tickets of through AAA).

The last time I was in Disney World I was 16 years old and went with the music department of my high school while we participated in Disney Magical Music Days. I was never so proud to be a chorus nerd. I was lucky enough to be able to spend the a week during the millennium in Disney. When the year 2000 hit, I was in Epcot. It's a pretty cool that I'll be able to tell my grand kids one day exactly where I was when time rolled over. Ever since that trip I knew I wanted to go back, because Disney really is magical.

Mike had never been to Disney before. Heck, before we were married Mike had never really been anywhere before. It's a pretty awesome thing, not only being able to see the magic of someplace new in my children's eyes, but also my husbands. Needless to say, it's in our immediate plans to come back and spend an entire week, because a day in the Magic Kingdom just didn't do it justice.

Florida Recap Part One - St. Augustine

2011-07-06T12:06:00.000-04:00

The last time we were in Florida was in 2008. Back then, when we didn't really didn't know where anything was, our cousin Emily took us out to this amazing little beach that was unlike anything that I had ever seen before.

I grew up in Virgina Beach, Va. If you're not from the east coast then that probably doesn't mean a whole lot to you, but if you are then you probably know that Va Beach is what is known as a tourist trap. Every inch of that beach is crawling with people and the streets are lined with overpriced souvenir shops and poor quality expensive restaurants. When it came to beaches, that's what I knew. St. Augustine blew that out of the water. We knew that we'd be coming back there for our most recent vacation.

We fell in love with the charm of the brick streets and historic buildings that lead the way to the white sand beach where a long beautiful pier juts out into the Atlantic Ocean. The beach itself was filled with families splashing in the water and building sand castles while the St. Augustine Lighthouse loomed in the background.
This place is easily one of our favorite places on earth, and we certainly celebrated being there.

Oh Florida, How We'll Miss You

2011-07-05T11:03:00.000-04:00

We are home.

As nice as it was to be here in time to spend the 4th with our family and to be able to sleep in our own beds last night, pulling into our driveway early yesterday morning was bittersweet. Our vacation was a fabulous one, full of love, laughter, and fun and it all flew by at a speed I didn't know existed.

Highlights from our trip included:
Spending time with our family that lives too far away to see on a regular basis
St. Augustine Beach
Disney World
Big Thunder Mountain
Santa Fe Lake
Golden brown tans
Vilano Beach
Seeing an entire school of sting rays in the ocean
Blue Springs
Krystal cheeseburgers
and so so much more.

Lowlights included:
Being stranded in a South Carolina garage waiting room no bigger than my bathroom for 5 hours thanks to a broken fuel pump
16 hour car rides between PA and FL that make for two cranky kiddos.

Mike and I took just under 4000 pictures on our trip. Crazy, right? Here are a few of our favorite moments.

While I'm sure I'll go into more detail later on, right now I still have vacation brain.

Vacation!

2011-06-24T10:47:00.000-04:00

In just a few short hours our family will be headed to sunny Florida where we will be visiting our family and relaxing here:

And having a blast here:

Oh Mandie is on vacation!
See you all soon!

Beside Still Waters - Book Review

2011-06-22T23:49:00.003-04:00

Marianna Sommer believes she knows where her life is headed. Nineteen years old and Amish, her plan is to get baptized into the church, marry Aaron Zook, and live in the only community she's ever known.

When Marianna's family moves from Indiana to Montana she discovers life and faith will never be the same. As she builds an easy friendship with local guy, Ben Stone, Ben not only draws her heart, he also gets her thinking about what loving God and living in community is all about.

As Marianna struggles to find "home", she also encounters God in intimate ways.

________________________________________

I was lucky enough to be chosen to review the book Beside Still Waters by Tricia Goyer, although I admit, I never knew that the genre of Amish literate was so popular, nor that it was so engaging. Even though the characters in Goyer's book lived lives vastly different than that of my family and I, I was immediately drawn into Marianna's story, finding myself relating to her faith, selflessness, and the love of her family.

The writing style of this book was refreshing, allowing me to see the characters in the story as real live people, with real live problems. Tricia Goyer's story didn't romanticize the in's and out's of Amish life, nor did she portray English life to be bad. Instead by allowing Marianna discover and develop her own faith , we easily see the similarities and differences between the two worlds.

The depictions and imagery of the story's setting was fresh as well. As someone who lives in Pennsylvania, a state with a vast Amish population, I was able to see with clarity the scenes in the book.

Even though the story starts off with a punch, the characters are easy to like and are relatable, with the main character, Marianna, developing right along with the progression of the story.

Looking for a good read? Then check out Beside Still Waters by Tricia Goyer

______________________________________________________________________

I wrote this review while participating in a blog tour by Mom Central Consulting on behalf of the Beside Still Waters Campaign and received a copy of the book and a promotional item to thank me for taking the time to participate

Never A Dull Moment

2011-06-21T07:54:00.000-04:00

Last weekend was incredible. But the span of time following it has been anything but pleasant and I could really use a distraction right about now from the sleepiness that is invading my brain.

It's early Tuesday morning right now, just after 7am. I went to bed at midnight and woke up for good at 5:30. I was up about 5 times in between too, thanks in part to a mixture of crazy dreams and not being able to breathe. That makes night number two of no sleep. Brayden just rolled out of bed while Gage is still fast asleep, and I have a mountain of laundry waiting for me if I'm ever going to pack for our vacation that we are leaving for on Friday. I promised the boys I'd take them to the playground this afternoon as well, but judging from the black skies and the plops of the rain hitting the sidewalk outside of my window, that idea is looking pretty grim. It's already shaping up to be one of those days.

Very early Monday morning, at right around 3am I was woken up from a dead sleep by an incredibly loud bang. Of course, Mike slept right through it. Needless to say I freaked out and attempted to wake him up, which is no easy task, let me tell you. When Mike looked out the window there was a car smashed into the tree directly outside of our bedroom. He ran out to see if anyone was hurt while I called 911. As it turns out the driver of the car, who I can only imagine was drunk, ditched the smashed car and made a run for it.

I, quite literally, live in the middle of nowhere. There is nothing but woods and trees and fields surrounding me, so this fool had plenty of places to run and hide, while I freaked out because there was a nut job loose in the woods somewhere around my house and who knows if this idiot was going to try and come back for his car. Meanwhile, we had tons of police, firemen, EMT's, Paramedics, and a flatbed tow truck here, while Mike and I looked on, bewildered, standing in the rain and giving our statements. It made for a very long night/morning. (As of yesterday they had caught a passenger who was in the car ... but that person is in the hospital unconscious right now, which I guess happens when you hit a tree head on.)

A lot of people ask my why I have the faith that I do and why I so adamantly believe in God. That tree was maybe 10 feet away from the front of my house. If is hadn't been there, that car would have crashed right into my house and through my bedroom, where Mike and I were fast asleep. That tree was grown there for a reason. It certainly saved our home and it quite possibly saved our lives.

Today, I'm sick with a cold/sinus infection, brought on most certainly from standing outside in my pajamas in the cold rain early Monday morning. I'm taking a bunch of medicine in some sort of feeble attempt at feeling better because my todo list is a mile long. even though all I really want to do is the one thing I haven't been able to since this whole mess happened - sleep.

Anyways, like I said before, Father's Day weekend was great. We did so much. On Friday the boys wrapped up Vacation Bible School with a little performance. Our little town had a small festival, complete with a petting zoo that the boys adored. And Mike and I broke out the camera to take some beautiful Summer shots up and around where we live. And after this crazy intense post here, I think it's high time for some cuteness in the form of a picture overload.

Sweet Summer

2011-06-17T10:41:00.002-04:00

Even though we are days away from the actual start of the season of Summer, our little family has been partaking in the seasons joys: scooter rides up and down the driveway, splashing in the pool in the backyard, hanging our laundry outside on the line to dry, and dinners made on the grill instead of the oven. Brayden and Gage are in a place in their lives that I wish I could bottle, just to have that twinkle of excitement in their eyes up on a shelf, mine to keep forever. I want to remember every peal of laughter, every bright smile, and every sweet moment.

But I often ask myself:
Would the summer be so sweet if the winter weren't so bitter?
And, would the bitter winter be so bearable if the summer's promise weren't so sweet?

And then I remember that we are lucky enough to get the two, along with Spring and Autumn. Life is what you make it, and ours is charmed for certain.

Bookworm

2011-06-15T15:25:00.002-04:00

I spied this over on Amy's blog amylouwho and found myself answering the questions with my own favorites while I read her answers, so I knew that I had to play along. I am a book loving nerd after all, and proud of it!

1. Favorite book - Suzanne's Diary for Nicholas - James Patterson - It's a written quite simply, and it a book you could easily devour in just a couple of hours, but, as a mother, this book just pulled at my heartstrings. I've read this book so many times that I've had to go out and buy a new copy when my original one fell apart.

2. Least favorite book - A Tale of Two Cities - Charles Dickens - I tried and tried to get into this "classic". And I hated every single page.

3. Book that makes you laugh out loud - Where the Sidewalk Ends - Shel Silverstien I'm a firm believer that no matter how old you are, that this book is and will always be amazing.

4. Book that makes you cry - The Time Travelers Wife - Audrey Niffengger - I don't want to spoil it for anyone who hasn't read it, but yeah.... this book is one of my favorites.

5. Book you wish you could live in - The Secret Garden - Frances Hodgson Burnett - This was my favorite book when I was a little girl. I used to dream about having a garden full of flowers and a swing just like the one in the book.

6. Favorite young adult book - The Hunger Games - Suzanne Collins - Can't wait until the movie comes out!

7. Book that you can quote/recite - The Giving Tree - Shel Silverstien

8. Book that scares you - The Lovely Bones - Alice Sebold - LOVE this book, even though it was hard to get through at first.

9. Book that makes you sick - Love in the Time of Cholera - Gabriel Garcia Marquez - sorry, can't stomach a book that talks about food and urine in the same context. I actually hated this book, one of the few I flounced on before the ending.

10. Book that changed your life - Crazy Love - Francis Chan - an amazing and inspiring book.

11. Book from your favorite author - The Bell Jar - Sylvia Plath

12. Book that is most like your life - "Suzanne's Diary for Nicholas" - James Patterson - You know, minus the whole being a doctor thing and, well, the whole ending.

13. Book whose main character is most like you - "Twilight" - Stephanie Meyer - Clumsy shy girl who reads a lot. Yep, that's me.

14. Book whose main character you want to marry - Sense and Sensibility - Jane Austen - I actually saw the movie for this before I ever read the book, and so every time I do read it I picture Col. Brandon as Alan Rickman, whom I ADORE, so yeah ... there you have it.

15. First "chapter book" you remember reading as a child - I was a pretty huge fan of The Babysitters Club, but I only ever read the Claudia books (she was the artsy one).

16. Longest book you've read - either Anna Karenina - Leo Tolstoy or Don Quixote - Miguel de Cervantes (Hated Anna Karenina and loved Don Quixote, by the way)

17. Shortest book you've read - Hmm, I don't know. I just read Heaven is For Real - Todd Burpo - it was fairly short.

18. Book you're most embarrassed to say you like - ehhh, probably "Twilight" - Stephanie Meyer. - I was totally enthralled with those books about 2 years ago. I still do like them a lot, I just don't always admit it.

19. Book that turned you on - Nights in Rodanthe - Nicholas Sparks - right up until the end anyways (why do all of Nicholas Sparks' book end so darn sad?).

20. Book you've read the most number of times - Suzanne's Diary for Nicholas - James Patterson

21. Favorite picture book from childhood - Snow - Roy McKie - My Dad used to read me this book all the time when I was little. It's one of my most cherished memories. So much so that a few years ago I found the book and bought it for my own kids.

22. Book you plan to read next - Miss American Pie - Margaret Sartor

23. Book you tell people you've read, but haven't (or haven't actually finished) - Yeah, I don't do that.

24. Book that contains your favorite scene - A Walk to Remember - Nicholas Sparks - Jamie and Landon's wedding gets me every single time.

25. Favorite book you read in school - To Kill A Mockingbird - Harper Lee - I used to wish I had someone like Calpurnia.

26. Favorite nonfiction book - Crazy Love - Francis Chan

27. Favorite fiction book - Probably the entire Twilight Series, minus maybe the entire middle of New Moon.

28. Last book you read - Water for Elephants - Sara Gruen - ohmygoodness, this book is AMAZING! I'm pretty sure I was one of the last people on the planet to read it, but it's phenomenal!

29. Book you're currently reading - Beside Still Waters - Tricia Goyer - so far, so good. I have a serious infatuation with Amish culture, so this book is right up my alley.

30. Favorite coffee table book - I have A Whole Lotta Led Zeppelin coffee table book, and it's pretty rad.

31. Favorite adventure book - Into the Wild - John Krakauer

A Sweet Summer Day

2011-06-13T10:27:00.000-04:00

Both boys are officially at Vacation Bible School today and will be going for the rest of the week. It's Gage's first year there, and he and Brayden were both extremely excited to be going. Today I got to run errands child-free, and they took maybe half of the time that they usually do. It was strange, not having a kid or two in tow.

Over the weekend we piled up in the Jeep for a summer adventure out to Shawnee State Park for an afternoon of swimming in the lake. We had a blast and beat the humidity by staying cool in the water.

And then it rained with a few flashes of lightning thrown in and the Park Ranger evacuated the lake. Our day was over, and the boys were sour because we had to leave. By the time we walked the 10 minute hike back up to where we parked the sun was shining again and the rain was long gone. We got to see a beautiful rainbow over the lake on our trek home.

Just another Summer day.

Growing Up

2011-06-10T11:37:00.000-04:00

My mind has always had a knack for running away with itself, left to ponder the great questions of my life. I'm a reflective and inquisitive person. Or maybe I'm not and that's the anxiety that's so deeply ingrained inside of me, either way.

At times I find myself so amazed at where the road has taken me that I have to literally stop to catch my breath. I'm a married. I'm a mother in charge of two little lives. I'm an adult. And even though I'm 27 years old I still feel like the 17 year old me most of the time. But I'm not her, am I? I'm a grown up woman.

When I was a little girl I would go on and on about what I wanted to be when I grew up, my choices often changing with the wind. (Artist, Choreographer, Poet, Author) Nowadays I find myself pondering the futures of my boys, wondering who they will become as they grow up and face the world.

Time marched on, never slowing. It seems like my own childhood passed with the blink of an eye, key moments and memories standing out as important, but overall a thing of the past. Pondering the concept of time has been a pretty regular thing for me now as mother who watches her children change and grow literally overnight, and daily I find myself saying things like "where has the time gone?"

The older we get, the more aware of time passing we become, our internal clocks ticking away. It's a daunting thing to think that in September 28 years of my life will have passed. I wonder, would my 8 year old self be happy with the life that I have now? And when Brayden is 28, would the 8 year old boy that he is now approve of the niche he carved out for himself? Same goes for Gage, will he be happy with the way he turned out?

I think about this sort of thing a lot, mostly when I lay my head down to sleep at night and the events of the day coming rushing back at me like a flood to be catalogued into memories. I'm one of the lucky ones because I can honestly say that my life right now is amazing and that I truely adore who I've grown up to be, and above all else I wish for the same for my sons.

Shine

2011-06-07T11:41:00.001-04:00

I want to do well in my mothering my children more than I have ever wanted to do well in anything before in my life.

Some women let natural instinct take over and some women are go with the flow. And I am neither one of those. I am the type of mom who surrounds herself with love, an amazing support system, passionate ideals, faith, and as much information as I can grasp because I strongly believe that if I am constantly moving forward to better myself then that will be reflected in my children.

I'm not hitting the level I need to, not yet, but I'm keeping up, I'm moving forward each day in the hope that this time, or next time, or the time after that, I will bridge the gap between here and there. Every now and then I get small indecipherable pictures of their futures, little emotional hits of possibilities that I can't yet make sense of. How I am raising them will pay off in the long run.

I do know one thing. Over what remains of the rest of my journey I want to squeeze out every bit of potential I have and throw it all on the metaphorical canvas of my life. I want to never feel the need, not ever, not even once, to make myself bigger or smaller than what I am. I want to learn how change is made and creativity fostered, I want to share beauty and incite courage. If I can't, as I once read, go back and make the details of my past pretty, then I will be damn sure to make my life as a whole beautiful. And in turn make theirs as bright as can be.

Summertime

2011-06-06T11:24:00.002-04:00

There is some strange phenomena going on here today.

Someone somewhere must have known that today I would need a break. And so far (fingers crossed) today has been a very good day. The boys are playing together nicely rather than arguing over who gets to build with what Lego's. Brayden has a good attitude today, rather than one of entitlement that we had to rectify with a serious talk over the weekend. Gage is pushing his trains around nicely across the living room floor rather than sitting in time out for whining when things don't line up just so. And the house is slightly less messy than it was yesterday, which is always an accomplishment when you live with all boys.

Today is the first official weekday of Brayden's summer vacation. Today I go back to have two boys around the house all morning and afternoon. Gage will have to learn to share his morning routine again, down to what cartoons we watch, and when we play. Mommy will have to start making breakfasts and lunches for two little guys everyday instead on just one. And Brayden, well he's just happy to be home and relaxing.

This Summer is going to be a busy one, and I'm not foolish enough to think that most of the days of it will come with the ease that today has. But I'm prepared, because I'm a mom. We'll keep busy, this little family of mine, because come Fall not only will Brayden be heading back to school, but Gage will be heading to Pre-K.

Summer fun will certainly be needed around these parts, and lots of it. There are memories to be made, water to be splashed with, night stars to count, and smiles to grace the faces of our family.

Here's to Summer!

She and He - June

2011-06-02T04:56:00.000-04:00

He has golden brown skin from being outside so much now that the weather is finally nice.

She is pasty white and is more than content to sit inside in front of the air conditioner.

He is itching to take his Jeep out on the muddy trails.

She decided that she's cutting all of her hair off this weekend.

He is not looking forward to the 16 hour drive to Florida that this month will bring.

She can't wait to greet the Atlantic Ocean as an old friend again.

He has been manning the grill a lot.

She is happy to not have to turn on the oven in the already 90 degree house.

He likes to zip through the woods on the quad to cool off.

She prefers to stick her feet in the kiddie pool with the boys.

They are ready to make this summer an incredible one.

He is happy with his simple but full life.
She is happy with her simple but full life.

A Trip to the Greenhouse

2011-06-01T08:23:00.001-04:00

The weather here has been pretty temperamental lately, and by temperamental I mean down right crazy. For 3 weeks solid it rained buckets, only stopping enough in between shower to let everything dry before it got wet all over again. And now that our wet spell finally broke a heat wave moved right along in and took it's place.

It's been in the 90's here the last few days and the humidity has been downright outrageous. Houses around here aren't fitted with central air conditioning, so people have been finding creative ways to cool off. But us?The first opportunity we had, we hopped on over to a few greenhouses to pick out some flowers and some veggies. (Because as any kid who has been bribed by his Mama would know, planting things means playing with the hose, and playing with the hose means staying cool in the hot weather.)

So bright and early one morning, before the sun had too long of a chance to heat up our little town, Gage and I left on our adventure where he weaved in and out of the flats of flowers like a little mischievous garden gnome.

PS: Blogger has been acting up for me the past week or so. I am definatly stopping by all of your blogs friends, but I haven't been to comment on most of them. Which is pretty lame. Get your act together Blogger!

Swinging and Sliding

2011-05-27T05:00:00.001-04:00

Just another day at the park with my loves.

05-25-02

2011-05-25T02:46:00.001-04:00

Nine years ago today Mike and I were standing side by side in a little church with our hearts thumping in excitement, just like when we first met and everything was still new, squeezing each others hands tight with both love and fear as we said "I do".

There are really no words to describe just how madly I love my husband that could properly convey the feelings that I have swirling inside of me every single day of forever. Together we are two halves of a whole and we are so much better together than we ever could be apart.

I remember when those doors opened up nine years ago all I saw was the path leading to your side. There was no wedding party aligned and waiting for my arrival and there were no pews filled with family and friends there to celebrate our love. There was just you and I.

I don't remember the words that the Pastor spoke, only the feeling of when you slid that ring onto my finger, where it will lay for the rest of my life. I just remember needing to know that you were my husband and I was your wife. Aside from the births of my children, I've never been as overcome with emotion as I was in that moment. Each and every day that we spend in each others presence just reaffirms that love as it grows and blooms right along with us, into something much more then I think you or I ever even conceived it to be.

Nine years later, and I still love you madly, each and every day a little more.

The Secret Garden

2011-05-23T08:58:00.000-04:00

The other day, on the way home from a wonderful day away from it all, a friend of mine stopped to show me a wonderful little place nestled behind quite a few long and windy back country roads.

Right there, in the middle of the heartland of Pennsylvania, was one of the most beautiful places that I've ever seen: The Allegheny Mountains Sunken Gardens of Mt. Assisi

The grounds are meticulously cared for by group of Franciscan Friars and each side of the garden is bookended with long stone walls, topped with foliage-covered pergolas. At the center is a large pool filled with koi and goldfish that captures the reflection of the former Charles Schwab limestone mansion, which now serves as the Friary.

Needless to say, with the husband in tow, I went back to this magical place and brought along my camera.

Small Town Living Fun

2011-05-20T10:28:00.001-04:00

Small town living has it's perks, the first and foremost being the amazing things that small town communities do for their citizens. Around here we get to experience things that I imagine don't really go on too often in larger cities, and if they do I'd guess that you would have to pay for them. We're pretty lucky in that reguard, because when the weather is nice out (and even when it's not so nice out to be honest) there is always something fun for families to do in our neck of the woods.

Last night we went on an adventure down the street to Brayden's elementary school for DARE Night Out. I don't remember if they had it last year or not or if maybe we just didn't go, but I was completely unprepared in the camera department. I never dreamed that this would be the wonderland that it was for my two little boys, filled with fire trucks, racecars, a helicopter landing, games, crafts, demonstrations, and tons of food and snacks.

The boys were pretty thrilled to watch the Medstar helicopter land, something that must never get old to them seeing as their daddy works at the airport with airplanes and helicopters and they have to oppertunity to be around them pretty much any time they want. There were squeels of joy as it got lower and lower, and then mouths full of grass when the air from the blades kicked up all sorts of fun stuff at us all. It made for lots of laughter though, even if I did swallow a bug or two.

Oh yes, it was a very good day to be a boy.

Mental Health Day

2011-05-19T20:40:00.000-04:00

Today I'm taking a bit of advice from this little guy right here.

I'm slowing down. What I thought were priorities will wait while I spend an afternoon out with a good friend shopping for her upcoming wedding for hair pieces, chatting over lunch, and just being silly. Later on Mike, the boys, and I will head over to Brayden's school for DARE Night Out.

And when all of that is done and I'm home for the evening, the dishes will still be in the sink and the dirty laundry will still be piled up and waiting for me. And the world won't end because I've left it all for some me time.

I hope that you all are slowing down and stopping to smell the roses today as well.

Happy Thursday!

Slow Down, Amanda

2011-05-17T13:55:00.000-04:00

Dear Amanda,

Slow Down!

Right now God is doing amazing things in your life. You are so blessed, you really am. But more often than not you are also very prone to being overwhelmed by the busyness of it all.

In those frazzled moments when you're tired, irritable, and just plain run down you often think to myself (and aloud to anyone who just so happens to be standing near you at the time) that if you just have more hours during the day then your life would be so much easier. But that's not true, not at all. Amanda, you just need to make sure that you are spending time with the source. You need to be refilled and encouraged every single day. You need Jesus. You need to fill up on Him and His words or you're left empty and burnt out. There is a distinct difference in yourself on the days where you place myself in His presence compared to the days where you struggle though, trying to forge your own path.

When you stop stressing over fitting all of the ins and outs of your life into your calendar and really slow down to see the quiet moments of your heart, that's when you'll feel like you're really living. Be amazed with all that surrounds you and be thankful for each and every moment given to you. And really start to live them, taking time to stop and smell the roses.

Love,
The Reflective Part of Your Brain That Doesn't Always Make Herself Known But When She Does You'd Better Listen

On Perfect Mornings

2011-05-12T10:05:00.000-04:00

He snuggles up right against me, curling his little body up tight to encase it in my arms and nuzzling his warm face into the crook of my neck.

"Good Morning Mom," he whispers with a still sleepy voice.

We are lying snuggled up on my pillow. It’s early. We’re the only two in the house awake. Mike is already long gone and is an hour into his work day. Brayden is still snoring softly, fast asleep. This is my Gage time.

Today is special. Gage managed to crawl out of the lower bed of his and his brothers bunk beds and trot in his sleep filled haze over to my room where he slid right into my bed. The days of him coming to me first in the mornings have been a thing of the past until today. Usually his first stop is right up the latter outside of his bed to wake his brother up with a jubilant yell of "Rise and Shine, Brayden!"

I place kiss after kiss atop his head, my lips sticking to his messy bed head. He laughs and squirms with glee.

"Mom, let's get up and watch Thomas the Tank Engine," he says. So we do. One cup of milk later and we're ready to start the day, just as Brayden comes trotting down the hall to join us.

Yes little one, it's a good morning indeed.

Show Me the Money

2011-05-10T13:22:00.000-04:00

I've been wanting to post about this for days now, but with Mother's Day, sunny evenings spent away from the computer, and life in general, it's gotten pushed back to today. And that's ok. It's the things we do in life that take precedence, not the manor is which we record them.

The past few weeks have been a whirlwind around our house. Somewhere nestled in between the daily ins and outs of our family routine, along with play dates, coffee dates, small groups, MOP's, and other assorted activities, came Brayden's second grade musical.

Sometime in March, while the snow was still flying and amidst the other bazillion things on my plate, Brayden brought home a paper requesting that some of the parents from his grade help out. Thinking, Oh hey, this play isn't until May. No problem. I signed up to help and that was that. Of course that was way before the parts had been assigned to the kids and the tasks had been assigned to the parent volunteers.

It was really no surprise that Brayden, the charismatic and charming little man that he is, came home a few weeks later with one of the six lead roles. He was, of course, beyond ecstatic, and rightfully so.

One awesome costume and bald cap/wig later and Ben Franklin was born.
Add to that a whole lot of scrapbook paper, my cricut, and some play money and my task of decorating the stage was complete as well.

Now I don't know about you moms, but when my child was up there on that stage singing and dancing and being so brave in front of first his whole elementary school and then the families and friends of the whole second grade class, well something bursts. Some dam somewhere inside of my heart broke open and as I watched firsthand what all of Brayden's excitement and preparations of learning his lines, the songs, and the dances, I bawled with tears of pride and joy.

The stage turned into colonial America and those sweet little boys and girls turned into our founding fathers and countrymen.

Sometimes life has a way of throwing a wrench into your plans and for me it was that amazing little musical. For the weeks leading up to it I was so focused on what I needed to get done and what I thought was important to do. It was nice to be excited because Brayden was excited. And I'm sure it was extra special for him to be the center of our routine for awhile, and then the center of attention in front of a ton of others as well.

Oh, and an 8 year old in a bald cap .... funniest thing ever!

A Good Day

2011-05-09T09:22:00.000-04:00

Being a mom is a humbling experience. It's messy, exhausting, stressful, and more time consuming than anything I've ever known. I've been exposed, defecated on, vomited upon, embarrassed, and ready to pull my hair out. But I've also been loved unconditionally and learned to also love unconditionally in return. The payout is so far greater than anything I could have imagined.

Mother's Day weekend was amazing. Mike took me out to pick out new flowers for the house (since we folks here in PA can't plant anything until mid-May thanks to lingering freezing temperatures at night). A cart full of big and beautiful rhododendrons, daises, peonys, and hydrangeas later and my little backyard flower garden will look spectacular, particularly after Mike puts in the fountain.

Yesterday started with two little boys jumping on top of me at the crack of dawn, while I was dead asleep, and giving me lots of hugs and kisses and shouts of Happy Mother's Day. I wish I could wake up every morning to happy little boys. They gave me a new charm for my charm bracelet and Brayden gave me some great handmade presents that he made in school.

After a morning spent at church and at both Mike and I's mom's, we headed on a little road trip to the Olive Garden for brunch where we all pigged out on yummy delicious food. We followed that up with a short trip to Target and then went back home for a nice afternoon nap for this mama. And then the boys cleaned the house for me while I lounged around the living room and read.

It was a pretty fantastic day.

So far this morning the residual magic of Mother's Day is still floating in the air. Once again I was awoken with hugs instead of whines, and rather than having a case of the Monday's I'm feeling happy and refreshed. The sun is shinning and the birds are chirping and even though there's another 364 days between now and the next Mother's Day, perhaps I'll keep right on celebrating the joys of being a mom every single day.

Wall Art

2011-05-05T10:40:00.000-04:00

As much as I loved these sweet pictures of my boys .... it was time for them to go. They are beyond outdated, featuring a 6 year old Brayden who is now 8 and an 2 year old Gage who is now 4. Not to mention that the classic wooden frames just didn't fit well with our colorful living room.

Four multi-picture frames from Wal-mart and a can of blue spray paint later, and we have some awesome new wall art featuring all of our latest and greatest photos, which can easily be switched out with the seasons.

She and He - May

2011-05-02T09:45:00.000-04:00

She is counting the days until the 50 degree rain filled weather turns into long days filled with sunshine.

He is outside tinkering anyway, just happy that it's not snowing anymore.

She has a master living room overhaul plan in the works involving bright colors and spray paint.

He's happy so long as she doesn't touch his man chair.

She is excited to see Brayden star in the 2nd grade musical.

He will be manning the camera.

She is feeling run down by their overly busy schedules as of late.

He is working more and more

They both will be taking a break on a day trip to the casino to play the penny slots in a few weeks.

They will blow through all of their saved change but will laugh a whole lot.

She is happy with his simple but full life.
He is happy with her simple but full life.

Quality, Not Quantity

2011-04-29T01:53:00.001-04:00

As the chilly weather here in our sleep little town shifts into warm sunshine filled days I'm finding myself wanting to take a huge leap back, away from the confines of my laptop and the comfy-ness of my couch. I want to run around outside with my boys. I want to cook on the grill and eat dinner out on the back porch. I want to spend late nights watching movies and NCIS marathons with my husband and I want to read about a hundred books. None of those things can be achieved from behind a computer screen.

The Oh Mandie hours of operation are changing. It's not you friends, it's me. It's my husband and it's my sons. It's my need to be more present in their lives and soak up as much time with them all as I can. Because as awesome as this blog is at preserving memories, I'd like to have certain things ingrained so deep into my mind that I'll never need an aid to remember then by.

I've been reading over some of my recent posts in an effort to make a list of my favorites (up there on the blog tool bar under Loves if you're interested) and I realized that I've posted a lot of space fillers over the months. Seriously folks, I'm one step away from doing one of those What's In Amanda's Purse posts .... and really, even though we don't admit it, no one actually likes those. (Trust me, it's mostly just random receipts anyways)

Some days I wish I could start all over again, back when blogging was more of a way to document our families milestones and adventures and less of the meme/giveaway/sponsorship machine that it's become. Ahh to know then what I know now. But such is life. My goal this year, and subsequently every year to come, is to print out my blog posts into bound documented family history books to pass on to my children, which they can then pass on to their children. And let's be real, my kids are not going to want to sit down 10 or 20 years from now and read all about how mom edited some picture in photoshop (which I'm sure will be a dead technology by then anyways) or about how she entered some random giveaway (and probably didn't have a chance at winning in the first place). If that's the kind of blog you want to have, well then more power to you, but as for me, it's just not working anymore and the quality of my posts is becoming more and more reflective of that.

So I'm making a pledge to myself, and also to you. From here on out I will post quality over quantity. Sometimes I may only post one or two times a week, but I can promise that they will be more open, honest, and though provoking then they have been in recent weeks. I will write for myself and my children, because that's where the quality comes from. I want to document my thoughts and life struggles so that my boys know my mindset when they were growing up, because let's face it, that's real life. I'm also going to go back to the sponsor-free days of blogging. I do this because I love to, not to make money from it. I'll keep on sharing my loves and hardships and the tales of our family life, but I'm doing it for them and for myself. I will not post something completely contrived just for the sake of posting anymore. And I hope in doing so we'll all be happier; myself with more time for my family and the means in which is properly document it and you with being able to read inspiring and raw truths about life, faith, family, and motherhood. Win-Win.

Before My Bubble Bursts

2011-04-27T01:54:00.002-04:00

I've been so far beyond tired that I'm not even sure what I should call it anymore. Exhausted? Burnt out? Over-extended?

After more years that I care to count of being a hermit I made a change in my life the last 10 months or so. I'm active and I'm involved. I'm social and I have a more of a life that I ever thought that someone like me, who suffered from fairly extreme depression and anxiety ever would. Unfortunately I jumped into everything head first, and it's catching up with me.

I love that on a given seven day week I actually have plans outside of my house now that don't include grocery shopping or errand running. I'm part of lots of positive and awesome things, all bigger than I am or could ever be. I like it. I genuinely like having something to program into the calender on my phone.

But as much as I love the business that my life has taken on, I miss the slowness of it too. And I'm not too proud to admit that I'm struggling to find the happy medium because in the middle of carving out this whole new niche for myself and discovering my own long dormant personality I feel like I'm becoming so overwhelmed with all that life has to offer that I'm missing out on the beauty of what is right in front of me.

So I do what I know. I retreat, take a step back, and slow down. And I find that in doing so I've found the cure to my problem. All it took was a bubble machine, a sunny day, and two happy little boys.

The Obligatory Easter Post

2011-04-25T08:07:00.000-04:00

This Easter was an eventful one to say the least, with some good and some not so good. But that's the nature of holidays with small children. There's an excitement in the air. And there's multiple baskets of candy to create sugar highs which eventually lead to cranky lows.

The boys woke up yesterday morning to fake Easter baskets, because sometimes as a parent you have to have a laugh at your kids' expense. Brayden woke up to a basket filled with Lysol, Fantastic, Air Freshener, and a brand new pack of sponges. Gage woke up to a basket filled with canned peas and carrots, a potato, an orange, and a few bananas. Needless to say they were not amused. We hid their real baskets, which they did eventually find.

We spent the morning at church, because that's why we celebrate Easter after all. Jesus died for us all. He paid the ultimate price for our sins and on the Sunday after he died, Easter Sunday or Resurrection Sunday, he rose. Yesterday we celebrated his love.

We had a giant dinner at my mother in law's house and then another at my parents house. Both places the boys received another basket full of sweets. The funny thing about all of that candy is that after the initial excitement over receiving it dies down, we don't really eat it. Most of it gets given away or tossed after sitting around for a few weeks.

And of course we had an Easter egg hunt. 96 colorful eggs were strewn about the yard, decorating the green grass and the still barren trees. It was sprinkling a bit, so we danced in the rain while we gathered up the brightly colored eggs.

Yes, all in all I would say that it was a pretty fantastic Easter, full of love, faith, and family. And that's what life is really all about, isn't it?

The Obligatory Dying Easter Eggs Post

2011-04-22T01:30:00.002-04:00

Happy Good Friday

Please remember why today is such a special day.

"Jesus was delivered over to death for our sins and was raised to life for our justification. Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we boast in the hope of the glory of God."

Romans 4:25-5:2

A Good Day

2011-04-21T15:05:00.000-04:00

The polish on my toenails may very well be chipped and my feet may very well be rough, but any day that I can wear flip flops is a blessing in my opinion.

(Unfortunately it's supposed to snow tomorrow, so my joy will be short lived, buy still sweet nonetheless)

I See You

2011-04-20T09:38:00.001-04:00

Little Boy, if all if takes is a new book to make you this happy then I'll gladly stockpile them for you, floor to ceiling. I see you there flipping the pages of Thomas the Tank Engine Goes on an Easter Egg Hunt and peeling off the stickers so carefully and then placing them right where you see fit, your imagination running wild. I see the happy little boy that you are now and I see what you will become.

I see you next year in pre-k, making even more friends than your charismatic self already has and gaining a new found Independence now that you're doing something on your own for the very first time in your young life.

I see you at age 8, the age your big brother, Brayden is right now. Where he's interested in science and history I think you'll excel with words. You've always loved books. When you were just a toddler you would sit and flip through the pages and admire the illustrations and the colors. I see this passion of yours and I hope it's life long.

I see you at age 13, starting to care about the clothes you wear and how you style your hair as you stand on the precipice between boyhood and manhood. We'll argue and we'll fight. But I'll always love you and I'll always be doing what is best for you, even when you don't see it that way. And you won't, but that's just because you're young even though you'll think that you are not.

I see you at age 16, tinkering in the garage with your dad on the car we'll buy for you. It's old and broken and we paid next to nothing for it. But if you want it, you'll build it from the ground up yourself. And you'll have a newly found respect for it.

I see you at age 18, walking across a high school stage in a cap and gown and the world at your finger tips. I have no doubt that you'll choose to do something amazing with you life and that you'll be happy. Whether that means going to an ivy league college and becoming a doctor or a lawyer or taking off to a third world country to do mission work I don't know, but you'll be happy. And your smile will be brighter than the sun.

I see you, Little Boy. And even though you might not always know it, your joy is my joy and will forever be.

Pretty Paper Flower Wreath Tutorial

2011-04-18T09:09:00.004-04:00

Tools:

Cricut: Plantin Schoolbook Cartridge - Flowers cut in two sizes, one at 2in and one at 3/4in - both shadowed to make the inner hole small

(if you don't have a cricut flower shaped paper punches would work excellently too.)

Supplies:

12” wreath form.

3 sheets of 12x12 scrapbook paper for the larger flowers

3/4 sheet of 12x12 scrapbook paper for the small flowers

1 pack of 100 color tipped straight pins. With our size of wreath, the 1-1/2” long pins worked wonderfully.

Instructions:

1. Cut out all the flowers and peel them off of your Cricut mat. Lightly fold the petals of the larger flowers upward to make them three dimentional

2. Layer one of the larger flowers with one of the smaller flowers on top, centered.

3. Hold the layered flowers against your styrofoam wreath form and using a stick pin, push through the center of the flowers until the pin is all the way in.

4. Continue around the wreath, making sure to offset the flowers slightly. It will help fill the gaps and give you a more attractive and random design. Remember, you don’t need to fill in the back, assuming it will be hanging against a door or wall. If you decide to fill the back, you will need far more flowers/pins.

5. Pin a looped ribbon to the back in you want to hang your wreath on your wall or from your door, but remember that this is a paper wreath and if you are hanging it outside to keep it protected from the elements.

2011-04-16T08:00:00.000-04:00

Do you Pinterest?

We should be friends!

Do you want to Pinterest but need an invite?

Leave your email in the comments and I'll send out as many as I have!

Be warned ... it's addicting!

Being Enough

2011-04-15T08:43:00.000-04:00

Yesterday was a bad day.

I've been completely off of my anti-anxiety and anti-depressiant medicines for something like 4 or 5 months now, and that alone is amazing. It took a lot of work, but I sucessfully replaced the majority of my fears with a love so amazing that it can't be contained. The few problems that I still have left, a slight shyness and worrisome nature, I've leaved to handle on my own with out living in the fog that taking daily medications brings. My outlook is brighter now and my body doesn't feel weighed down . I'm happy. And that emotion is all my own, not one a bunch of little pills tell me to have. And authentic happiness trumps manufactured happiness any day.

Unfortunatly the price that I pay to be unmedicated means that I occasionally have bad days. They are extrememly rare, but when they come I need to take a step back and reevaluate. I need to recognize the symptoms that are coming and choose joy, because if I don't I will slip under.

Yesterday I slipped under, and I'm ashamed. I chose to get caught up in a bunch of completely invalid feelings and throw myself a pity party, to which I invited my entire family. The details aren't important, because like I said, my reasoning were so off the mark that it was laughable. But still, I succumed to the blackness that I've spent so long fighting off.

Today is a new day, though. And even though I lost yesterdays fight I will continue this war on depression and anxiety that I've been caught up for the last 4 years. It's a part of who I am. It may not be a pretty part, but it is in fact a part of me reguardless. I will always be this, that awkward girl who sometimes gets sad or nervous. But I'm also more than that too. I'm a wife and a mom who is madly in love with her family. I'm a friend and a sister. I have hobbies that I love and a passion for many different things. Most importatly though, I'm a daughter of Christ who has helped me rise against Satan whispering in my ear, telling me that I'm not enough.

Because even though I have days where I wallow in false truths, I AM enough. And I know that.

Science Fair

2011-04-14T08:14:00.002-04:00

Back when I was in school I excelled in things like English and Literature. But Brayden, his mind works so differently than mine did at his age that often times I have trouble understanding it.

Brayden is smart, very much so. He has a knack for all things scientific and love of history, so much so that he's been invited to go to a special Science summer day camp for gifted children where he'll get to do experiments and learn even more. And he's excited about going.

When I was 8 all I wanted to do run around outside and play Barbies. All Brayden does is watch historical documentaries and Myth Buster on television or read science books and jot down experiments that he's like to do in his notebooks.

Just a few happy pictures from the school Science Fair taken with my iPhone.

Creating static electricity

In front of his classes contribution - on recycling

Brayden's very own homemade recycled paper, which he drew our house on

Mike admiring Brayden's exhibit

I know that you might not always be in love with Science, but for now I'm thrilled that you still see the joy in learning new things. Never lose that spark, little boy. It'll carry you to some amazing places if you hold firm.

Book Review: Mysteries of the Jesus Prayer

2011-04-13T21:41:00.001-04:00

I'm a reader. I've always been a reader and it's pretty certain to say that I'll always be a reader. Honestly if it weren't for my husband and kids I wouldn't even own a television because I watch it that infrequently. Television is too easy for me. I need a book to be able to flex my mind. So obviously when I find a good one, I pounce.

Enter Mysteries of the Jesus Prayer. I have to admit, I was a bit hesitant when I approached this book. I read quite a bit of Christian literature, but as a contemporary Baptist, the subject matter of this book (icons, ancient prayers, etc.) was a bit foreign to me.

The more I read the more fascinated I became as the book shares the history and practices of the mystical tradition of The Jesus Prayer, which is no more than a sentence long. Also this book is packed with amazing photography for a slew of holy sites where photography is normally not allowed.

Norris and Father John McGuckin, a priest of the Orthodox Church, wrote Mysteries of the Jesus Prayer: Experiencing the Presence of God and a Pilgrimage to the Heart of an Ancient Spirituality as a travelogue and companion to the film documentary they shot on a spiritual pilgrimage to monasteries and convents in the Middle East, eastern Europe, and Asia. Their goal was to learn what they could about the origins and practice of this prayer and bring what they learned back to the West.

Prayer is a very personal thing, or at least for me it is. It's also something that I've had to condition myself to do. It's not always easy and it's always forthcoming. Sometimes I get distracted and sometimes I don't get the answers that I'm looking for when I speak with God. It can be discouraging. But it's also the root of a love so amazing that we don't always understand it. And that's ok.

My personal perspective on prayer, its practice, history, and its value has been enriched profoundly by reading this book. I recommend it to anyone interested in delving into the history of prayer and how that history can inform and mold our faith today.

Quilt #2

2011-04-12T01:11:00.000-04:00

For years and years my mantra is "I can't sew." And by can't I meant that if it involved more than a straight line or *gasp* a square, then that leaves this chickadee right here out.

Need help with jewelry making? No problem.
Need help designing a blog layout? I'm your girl.
Need a hand learning how to Coptic stitch? Let's go.
Need something sewn for you? Sorry. No can do.

Or at least that's what I told myself for too many years to count. And then, after a huge undertaking, this project of epic proportions happened. Followed by this one. It took a little time and a whole lot of patience, but as it turned out I can sew, and I'm not half bad at it either.

I've been wanted to make another quilt almost as soon as I was done with the first one, but balked at the work involved and tucked my idea away into the "to be completed" file in my brain. Quilting is hard. I didn't have a rotary cutter or a self healing board for my first one, so it was just a trusty pair of scissors and I trudging along through the many hours of cutting out quilt blocks. It was a process, not one that I'll ever decide to take on again. In an effort to get the sweet little pink lap quilt that I wanted to make for myself (because as a mother of 2 rough and tumble boys, sometimes you just need a little pink) I thought that I would cheat the hard work of quilting by making a rag quilt. Raw edges, no seam binding ... piece of cake.

Not quite.

Where my last quilt only took me about 2 weeks to finish this one took me about 5 months. Granted I didn't work on it every day and I actually went weeks at a time without even glancing at it, but that was all because after I got a taste of the work involved in rag quilting I didn't find it fun at all. I'm an instant gratification kind of gal when it comes to my crafts. I like to see results quickly. Quilting is not for people like me.

But I moved along, even if it was at a snails pace. And eventually my pile of fabric because a beautiful little lap quilt that I intend to use when I'm sitting outside reading this Spring while the boys play. Purchasing that rotary cutter and self healing mat certainly helped things along.

The end result:
A very tired and sore hand as a result of snipping a million little bits of fabric.
A billion little strings covering every inch of my floor and filling my washing machine and dryer lint trap.
One beautiful and happy scrappy rag lap quilt which I'll love forever. ♥

Linking up::

One Fine Day

2011-04-11T09:34:00.000-04:00

Right up until the middle of last week we've still been caught somewhere between the end of Winter and the Beginning of Spring. This is a tricky time of the year for Western Pennsylvanians who are covered by the height of the Appalachian mountains. Both heavy coats and light sweaters are hung up in our closets and tall boots and flip flops line the path to go outside. One day it's snowing and the very next it's a semi-warm 55 degrees. All of this sporadic weather makes Spring fever that much worse in our house. Daddy wants to go outside and tinker in his garage. Mom wants to sink her hands into the earth and start her vegetable garden. Brayden and Gage both want to race their scooters up and down the length of our long driveway and soak up some sun.

Last week it snowed, followed by rain. Yesterday though was perfect, a sunny 70 degrees - the warmest day of the year so far. We took advantage, spending the entire afternoon well into the evening outside playing in the breeze. Those scooters did in fact come out of their Winter hibernation, along with the sidewalk chalk and a few other miscellaneous toys. Clothes got hung outside on the line where they'll dry to smell like fabric softener. And two boys who very much needed to get dirty and run off some built up energy got the opportunity to do so.

Unfortunately, from experience we know that this nice day is not going to be an regular occurrence thanks to our temperamental weather where we live. There will be more days of coldness and rain, and possibly even snow before the sun shines with any regularity. But that's ok. It makes the rare days when we do get to go outside and run free than much sweeter.

Morning Light

2011-04-08T03:19:00.000-04:00

I need mornings. Even though I am not a morning person by any means whatsoever, I still need the beginning of a new day that each one brings. The sun streaming in through my living room window, the coffee brewing in the kitchen filling the house with it's warm scent, two little boys rubbing their sleepy little eyes as the wake to greet a new day, I need it all.

Before the time change I used to wake up before the sun when the house was still dark and quiet. Sitting on the couch that overlooks our large living room window I'd see my own reflection staring back at me in the glass while the sky outside rapidly changed from black to orange. Slowly the light that only a new day can bring consumes me, taking my tired reflection away and replacing it with the illuminated landscape outside

I need to live in that light. I need to wrap it around me like warm blanket and feel its comfort throughout the day.

Cut and Paste

2011-04-06T10:15:00.000-04:00

I've been a scrapbooker for over eight years now, since Brayden was born. I've been one of those moms who always has her camera at the ready to capture life's precious moments and who then cuts and pastes those pictures into an album full of memories and keepsakes. Scrapbooking was my way of blogging, before I discovered blogging. But unlike blogging it takes time to piece the pages together just so, time spent reflecting on the memories that you are cataloguing. I like the slow process of scrapbooking.

A few of my favorite layouts.

Pruning

2011-04-04T21:18:00.000-04:00

Every so often I've been known to go through periods in my life where I de-clutter and weed out the negativity inside of me.

I stop and I purge everything inside of me that is being used as a filler. I toss aside all of the hurt feelings, the anxiety, the depression, the friends who aren't really friends, the energy wasters, the worry, the doubt, and any other bad thing that is taking up precious space inside of me. I let it all go and I feel so free as that weight lifts from my shoulders.

We are all deeply rooted like trees, with branches jutting upwards and outwards. And sometimes we have to trim the branches that don't bare fruit and nourish the ones that do so that they can thrive. If we are living one way and are not proving fruitful, then perhaps it's time for a pruning.

She and He - April

2011-04-01T11:35:00.000-04:00

He got a promotion at work and has been working a lot.

She has over extended herself and needs a calendar to manage all of her commitments.

He bought her Photoshop Elements 9

She can't stop playing with it.

He just put in for his vacation this summer where our family will spend a week in Jacksonville, FL.

She is depressed by the 6 inches that has covered her yard in the past 2 days.

He falls asleep early at night because he has to be up early.

She stays up way to late reading every night and relys too much on coffee.

He and Brayden have been spending time together tinkering in the garage.

She and Gage have been spending time at MOP's and most recently Kindermusik.

He is happy with his simple but full life.

She is happy with her simple but full life.

Happy

2011-03-31T16:49:00.000-04:00

Just a few happy shots taken from my iPhone of Gage at Kindermusik.

Rain Storms

2011-03-29T10:28:00.001-04:00

Sometimes at the end of the week I'm too run down and tired to be of any use to anyone or anything. Sometimes I'm like that at the beginning of the week too. And sometimes I'm like that during the middle of the week as well.

I call these my rainy days. Days when the kids were particularly rowdy. Days when I wake up with a headache or sore limbs thanks to parathyroid disease. Days when the sky never turns bright with sun. And days where the only way to go is up.

There are more times than I can count where I do that the sink full of dishes needs taken care of and the mountain of laundry needs washing, but making the effort to do so is too large particularly when sitting on the couch with my feet up is just so much easier. It soothes me, to sit a spell and be still, relishing in a few moments of quiet time. Sometimes I need to recharge, because if I don't the rain will turn into a flood and take me away.

There are days that come with a slight chance of rain. These are the days that come fast and come often, with no warning. Days like this start with a late start and missed school bus, spilled milk across the kitchen counter that's dripping and pooling onto the floor, arguments between kids, and a collection notice in my mailbox.
And so the water rises.

And soon the clouds turn grey and heavy and large droplets of water begin to fall hard and fast and I just can't seem to find my umbrella, because when it rains it pours and I am bound to get wet. These are the days that have recently involved an emercency room trip for a sick child, being powerless to help someone close to me who struggles with addiction, and battling the nagging feelings of inadaquacy that all too often find their way into the forefront of my mind. These are the days where I find myself at the of realizing that I haven't even once thought about or even thanked God for the blessings of my life, because during days like these the bad clouds my vision of the good and makes it extremely hard to see straight.

Again, the water rises. And before I know it the water has risen clear up to my waist as I wade through the storm of my life.

All because I am made of sinews of muscle that tire and flesh that gets hungry and lungs that can’t seem to catch their breath. And all that is laced through with sin that wants to trap me in my tiredness and tell me I am no good.

A year ago, that very same flash flood would have carried me away, my only saftey net being the bottles of prescription pills I took daily to keep my head above water.

Nowadays, I've learned how to swim. It also doesn't hurt that I've got the best life preserver out there.

So I sit down and steal away for a few quiet moments in spite of the rain rather than in the midst of it and I pray. And God takes my empty spaces and fills them with peace. And even though I know I'm not waterproof I will make it through. Because after the rain comes the most beautiful rainbow.

A Slice of Life

2011-03-27T23:08:00.001-04:00

Capturing life's sweet moments can be hard when you're not a professional photographer and you're dealing with a constantly on the go little boy. More times than I can count I've uploaded quite literally a hundred pictures onto my computer only to sift through them and find one or two shots that are perfect.

I'm learning to love the other 99 pictures. Because those are the ones that capture the reality of life. It's messy and imperfect. And that's ok.

I Heart Faces is celebrating those types of pictures with this weeks challenge A Slice of Life.

Just a sweet picture of little Gage getting ready to go down the slide at a local dairy farm, with the most perfect sky behind him.

Hipstamatic

2011-03-25T08:31:00.001-04:00

Yesterday's highlights via my iPhone

Spent the morning making cinnamon rolls after catching up with a friend at Starbucks. Drank more coffee as I baked. Dinner with the hubs at Panera Bread then drove around town in the Jeep running errands. Ruby slinked by for a picture in the evening while I put my feet up and read my new book.

A simple day, but a good one.

(yes, I drink my coffee from a Tinkerbell mug)

Great Balls of Ice

2011-03-24T10:09:00.000-04:00

Last Thursday is was a beautiful and sunny 65 degrees outside.
Today it's snowing.

Such is the weather in Pennsylvania, unpredictable.

Yesterday evening Brayden and I were sitting down around the dining room table doing homework when all of the sudden the house started to shake as we got pelted with hail the size of those super balls you get out of bubblegum machines. Thankfully we were indoors. (and thankfully we have a garage because the damage that could have caused to our vehicles would have sucked)

Balls of ice raining from the sky, ok. But todays snow is just a slap in the face on top of it.

I've never been more ready for Spring than I am right this second.

Girls Night

2011-03-22T12:51:00.000-04:00

Last weekend was a long, rough one. I'm still very run down by it's events, but I'm choosing to move forward this week with the mantra to "Let Go and Let God". As much as I'd like to control the sitations that I inevitabally find myself in, I know that I can't. So really, why bother trying.

Yesterday evening turned out to be just what I needed after a nightmarish Sunday. A few other ladies from my MOPs group and I went to the Taste of Home cooking show that came to town. There were vendors galore and tons of yummy food and giveaways, not to mention the actual show where we learned how to make a bunch of really yummy things. (Because if your house is anything like mine, then you probably know how easy it is to get into the rut of eating the same things for dinner over and over again. A new, super scrumptious recipe is pretty much invaluable around here).

Taken with my fancy schmancy new iPhone

Oh, and they gave us a bunch a coupons ... which is always awesome!

I'm a pretty big fan of Taste of Home magazine. Mostly because the recipes inside of it aren't super complicated recipes from chefs that use a ton of hard to find ingredients that I've never heard of before. They are all submitted by people like you and I; other mom's and wives who have a passion for cooking. So when I caught wind that this fun cooking show was coming to town I was all over it like white on rice. (See what I did there ... used a little foodie reference as my joke)

It was certainly a fun little girls night away from all of lifes little problems. Go to Taste of Home and see if there is a cooking school near you (because really, if there was one in my bumpkin town, there is probably one close to you too).

All in all, it was a very fun night!

Perspective

2011-03-21T02:22:00.000-04:00

Yesterday was an interesting day. And by interesting I mean absolutely terrible.

I'd love to write all about my fun new iPhone and post fun Hipstamatic pictures for you all to see, but really that's so far from the front of mind that a light hearted Monday post just isn't in the cards.

The week before last poor little Brayden came down with a double inner ear infection and had to miss a few days of school after a visit to the pediatrician. He took his antibiotics faithfully and after 10 days the infection cleared up and all was well. Normal childhood illness at it's finest.

12 days after his initial diagnosis though Brayden started to get a few pink dots on his belly and face, a small rash we weren't exactly sure was related to anything at all. And since it was a Friday evening we opted to wait and see if it got worse and then take him back to the pediatrician on Monday.

Well, it got worse, much much worse. The sparse little red dots multiplied to cover his entire body head to toe and grew into large red patches of inflamed skin. And he developed a fever so high he was shaking with chills and was absolutely restless.

We spent Sunday afternoon in the emergency room. As it turns out Brayden is highly allergic to the antibiotic he was taking for his ear infection.

Thankfully our hospital visit was short and in the grand scheme of things, was non-serious. But even still, as a mother, it takes it's toll on you to see your child, who is obviously terrified, laying in a hospital bed. It's moments like that where you start playing the "what if" game. What if we hadn't of caught the rash in time? What if it had turned into anaphylactic shock in the middle of the night and he stopped breathing? What if this scarred his sweet little body?

Needless to say, I was am a wreck. He's alright though, thank God. But he so easily couldn't have been, and that's what terrifies me.

But no, our crummy day didn't stop there. After our hospital trip, on our way to my parents house to grab some dinner, we were rear ended by a drunk driver. Thank God, we're all ok.

I'll never understand why people make the choice to get drunk and then get behind the wheel of a car. Thankfully we drive a monster of a Jeep and our tailgate and hitch took the damage, rather than our bodies. I'm convinced that if we had been in a smaller vehicle there's a good chance that my boys who were in the backseat could have been seriously hurt.

That whole situation is still so fresh in my mind that I don't even want to keep writing about it. We're all ok, and that's what matters. The rest the insurance company can figure out while I cuddle my babies and tell them just how much I love them and how thankful I am to have them in my life. Days like this put things into perspective.

Yeah, so ... how was your weekend?

Green Glorious Green

2011-03-18T08:38:00.000-04:00

First things first, if you're a regular around here then you've probably noticed that I've changed my blog up. I'm on this kick right now in my life where I'm trying to simplify and streamline things, and that includes my blog seeing as it's the number one source of where I collect my thoughts. It was too busy for me before. Oh Mandie is getting back to basics.

Yesterday, St Patrick's Day, was the very first nice day that we've had here this year in Western Pennsylvania. The sun was shinning high, the sky was some varied shade of blue, and our jackets stayed hung in the closet as we frolicked around the farm.

Dare I say, Spring is on the horizon? (chances are no, but a girl can dream)

Together we all donned our greenest apparel and posed for a few windy family shots in front of the tree in our front yard.

I'm flashing back to two St. Patty's Days ago, where a then 6 year old Brayden and I took a silly detour in Wal-Mart that Mike managed to capture on his cell phone. (hence the terrible quality)

It's the small moments like there, stolen bits of silliness and laughter, that make the world go around.

**************

Play Along- Click Below

Twirl

2011-03-16T07:00:00.001-04:00

In the eight plus years that we've had children, my husband and I have always done a certain dance when it comes to managing the different aspects of our lives.

And when we dance I know the steps by heart, twirling and spinning.

He wrestles the boys into their beds and kneels down for prayer time while I fix the morning breakfasts as the boys rub the sleep from their eyes.

And together we two step in the kitchen behind a sink full of dishes, over the mountains of laundry, and past the rows of photos lining the walls that frame the beat of our lives, the rhyme of our routine, and the rhythm to our roles as mother and father, husband and wife.

There is a melody in our house that moves us, one that only the two of us can hear. It's taken years of practice, but together we've managed to find the timing. Dinner at 5:00. Bedtime for the boys at 8:00.

You, husband, will forever be my favorite dance partner. And this life will forever be the greatest song in which to move to.

Sun Flares and Giveaways

2011-03-15T08:13:00.001-04:00

For a good portion of yesterday the husband and I sat down together and attempted to figure out where we're going to be going on this years annual summer vacation. It's going to be awfully hard to beat the amazing trip we took down to Assateague Island, MD where we camped on the beach with the wild ponies and the ocean was only feet away, but we think that we've found something just as fun that the boys will certainly love.

So when I popped over the I Heart Faces to see what this weeks challenge is I got pretty excited about sharing a sun flare shot. I've only ever managed to capture one of these and it was completely by accident, long before I had ever bought my fancy dslr camera.

This is from that amazing vacation last year. Brayden was dancing on the beach and watching the tide roll in minutes before he ran down to stick his toes in the Atlantic Ocean.

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Pssssssst!!!

Want a chance to win some goodies from my new shop Sugar Maple Drive?

Then pop on over to MammaTown today to see how!

I Like You

2011-03-14T13:57:00.000-04:00

Some weekends my life is pretty boring and is certainly not blog-worthy. Take last weekend for example. We went took the boys to their friends birthday party, went out for ice cream, and then slept off the effects of Daylight Savings time.

And since my boys celebrated todays no school teacher in service day by sleeping over at their grandma's house I slept in, leaving the blogging for the afternoon.

So I'm cheating today and doing a post where pictures do the talking. Yes folks, today is an etsy favorites post! I love it when people post their favs on blogs. I've found some of my favorite purchaces and gifts that ways.

I Like you...

Yellow Gray Flower Hat via MojoSpaStyle

Pennsylvania State Pillow via Love,California

Star Cards -- set of 4 via Emmalynne Photography

Bigger and Better Things? No, Not Really

2011-03-11T10:16:00.001-05:00

Sometimes the way life works completely and totally baffles me.

Just yesterday I was posting all about our families budget. Things are tight at casa de Oh Mandie. But that's ok, it's how we prefer it. Together Mike and I chose to sacrifice a lot so that I'm able to stay at home with my boys. And anyways, not driving a brand new car with a giant car payment is not sacrificing to me anyways. Our family prefers to living simply, finding an abundance in love rather than objects on monitary value.

I wouldn't say that we've ever really struggled, but at times we've certainly walked a fine line. But God has always provided for us, in ways that we couldn't even comprehend. Our cupboards are full, our health insurance is paid, and the roof over our heads keeps us safe.

Mike works hard, harder than any man I've ever known, the exception being my own father whom Mike works just as hard as. To make Christmas happen last year my husband took on two additional jobs on top of his full time one, working in excess of 70 to 80 hours a week. One of those two extra jobs he still works at seasonally, doing maintence for our local airport and plowing the runways in the Winter. He's amazing and he does it all to provide for his family. I appriciate that man and everything that he does for us more than I could ever express.

After years of him working so hard it's amazing to see him catch a real break. Mike, my very awesome and very amazing husband was given a really great promotion yesterday where he works as a line service tech, fueling all sorts of aircraft, one that was quite sought after between the guys whom he works with.

Mike's new position as a supervisor comes with a pretty sizable raise, which could make life substantionally easier for us. But I'd be kidding myself if I said that it will really change things. It won't, because this is who we are. We are not new car people, we are fix the Jeep with your own two hands people. We are make it from scratch people, not buy it from the store people. We are make do with what you have or do without people.

Raise or no raise, we are rich. We always have been rich. We've just chosen to be rich on the things that matter.

And so we celebrated with a kid drawn card and some scrumptious cheesecake brownies, because that's just how we do things around here.

I'm so proud of you, Mike. You inspire me and your willingness to put your family first has always and will always amaze me. It's just one drop of water in the bucket of all of the reasons why I love you so.

A Special Evening

2011-03-10T09:51:00.003-05:00

When it comes to spending time with my boys, I'm pretty much a creative mastermind. Want to draw or bust out the construction paper and glue, then I'm your gal. Want to bake cookies or watch movies or sing silly songs, then this house is the place to be. But if you want to go out and spend large amounts of money for fun, then I'm afraid that this is not the place for that. And much like any kid out there, somethings they just want what money can buy, not what mom can make or do. And that's ok.

When Mike and I caught word that Thomas the Tank Engine Live on Stage was coming to our small town (well actually the slightly larger city 20 minutes away) we knew that we had to take the boys, both of whom are absolutely smitten with that cheeky blue engine. But when we found out that the cheapest seats were $20.00 ($30.00 after all of the stinking fees there are when you buy them) we knew that it would be impossible on our tight budget. 4 tickets x $30.00 = $120 dollars that we just did not have.

Being a stay at home mom means certain sacrifices for our family. We'll never own a new car. Sometimes the generic version of things has to suffice. We don't take giant, elaborate vacations. And we would normally never spend what could easily be a week and a half's worth of groceries on 90 minutes of entertainment.

But this was different, and I knew how much both Brayden and Gage would love going to something like this, partially because of their love for Thomas, but also because an adventure like this is so out of the ordinary that it would be extra special.

I've known for awhile now that I had planned to close up shop when it comes to Oh Mandie on etsy, wanting to take my wares in a different direction. There's a new shop with better quality materials (Sugar Maple Drive), but thanks to an over abundance of stock I decided to sell off what was left in my old etsy shop at a 50% off discount in an effort to clear out my cluttered craft room. Wouldn't you know it that within a week I had sold $117.00 worth of jewelry. Because etsy sales are unpredictable, Mike and I have never equated them into our budget. So that money sitting in my paypal account was extra for us. Three guesses on what I bought with it.

I know that something as simple as taking their kids out to see a silly little show doesn't mean a whole heck of a lot to a lot of people. But to me, being able to find the means to do so is amazing.

Yes our seats were way up in the nose bleed section and yes we could only spring for the little $12.00 souvenir light for the boys rather than the $25.00 shirts or hats, but we all had a blast and the boys will have the memories of their special evening to see Thomas for the rest of their lives.

There's a certain pride in knowing that something I did and that I created (and that I love doing) single handily brought on two of the largest smiles ever to grace the faces of Brayden and Gage.

Ingredients for the Best Day Ever on the Worst Day Ever

2011-03-09T06:00:00.003-05:00

Things around the farm are looking sour. We're due to get another week full of bitter cold temperatures and snow when all I really want is to be able to soak up some sunshine and now little Gage is fighting a losing battle against the flu. (oh and I shelled out a cool $117 for tickets to go and see Thomas the Tank Engine Live on Stage for tonight that just may also fall victim to his sickness)

But amidst all of the vomit and the scrubbing that waging a war against the flu entails I'm trying to find the small things to make even the harshest of days amazing ones.

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Start your day with a thankful heart. Most days this seems like an impossible feat for me when all I really want to do is stay in my nice warm bed and catch a few more hours of sleep. But I have two little people who are depending on me to get their day started, one of whom who is also depending on me to make him comfortable and healthy right now. Make time for coffee, tea, and more importantly fruitfulness.

Sing. Music makes the day go faster and makes even the most mundane tasks appealing. Scrubbing up soiled clothes and flu related messes on its own stinks, but turning sick-fest 2011 into your own rock concert makes even copious amounts of laundry a bit more awesome. Seriously, how did I live before Pandora?

Wear something you love. Anything at all. I know that my job as a stay at home mom has a daily uniform that consists mostly of pajama pants and old ratty shirts, but paired with a favorite headband from Garlands of Grace (which is really doing no more that pushing my unbrushed hair away from my eyes, but that's besides the point) I feel a bit more like I'm maintaining some shred of myself.

Most importantly, pass it all off to your husband when he comes home from work for a little bit and steal away for a few quiet moments to re-energize and center yourself ... and maybe brush your hair.

I ♥ Faces - Best Face in February

2011-03-07T21:38:00.007-05:00

It's still snowy here in Pennsylvania, February being no exception. I love this shot of Gage, all happy to be be outside playing in the Winter wonderland that is our farm.

Play Along - Iheartfaces

Oh Mandie ♥

100 Marshmallows

Weeding the Garden

A Whole Lot of New

Moving Right Along

Objects in Mirror...

366

2011 The Shorthand Version

New Beginnings

The Last of It

Storms of This Life

Procrastination

A Day at the Pumpkin Patch

A Week Of

Hello, Friend

Listen Carefully

I'm Still Here

A Post on Perfectionism

Living Unplugged

Recharging with Carnival Food

Tornado

Brayden's New Life

A New Adventure

It's Crazy Around Here

The Carneige Science Center

Pain in the Neck

A Wild Time Was Had By All

When Cooking Goes Bad

Instagrams

She and He - August

Airplanes are Cool

It Takes Work

Fun at the Jubilee

Where Do I Go From Here?

Confessions

Storyteller

More Questions Than Answers

Florida Recap Part Four - Vilano Beach

Florida Recap Part Three - The Lake House

Florida Recap Part Two - Disney World

Florida Recap Part One - St. Augustine

Oh Florida, How We'll Miss You

Vacation!

Beside Still Waters - Book Review

Never A Dull Moment

Sweet Summer

Bookworm

A Sweet Summer Day

Growing Up

Shine

Summertime

She and He - June

A Trip to the Greenhouse

Swinging and Sliding

05-25-02

The Secret Garden

Small Town Living Fun

Mental Health Day

Slow Down, Amanda

On Perfect Mornings

Show Me the Money

A Good Day

Wall Art

She and He - May

Quality, Not Quantity

Before My Bubble Bursts

The Obligatory Easter Post

The Obligatory Dying Easter Eggs Post

A Good Day

I See You

Pretty Paper Flower Wreath Tutorial

Pinterest

Being Enough

Science Fair

Book Review: Mysteries of the Jesus Prayer

Quilt #2

One Fine Day

Morning Light

Cut and Paste

Pruning